• The Hopefulist


Doesn't that word evoke all kinds of feelings? And they usually aren't good ones. Because when we talk about acceptance it usually means things we don't want to accept.

I was at the dollar store the other day grabbing some greeting cards. By the way, I get all my cards at the dollar store because the cost at other stores has gotten completely ridiculous! The line was long and there was only one register open. The woman behind me kept sighing and mumbling 'I can't believe this' under her breath. The cashier did call out someone's name at one point as if to ask for help. When it got to be my turn to check out the woman behind me started talking to the cashier saying I can't believe you only have one register open. The cashier said there are two of them and one of them was on break but she did try to call her. The woman then says; "I can't believe you don't have an intercom." The cashier and I have to give her credit said; "we do but I yelled for her and she's the boss so it's up to her whether she wants to come up or not." I got my cards, thanked the cashier and moved on with my day.

A couple of days later my husband and I were at the grocery store and all the lines were outrageously long. The holidays are here! We picked the wrong line as usual. You know the one that goes the slowest. The woman in front of us was very frustrated. She's giving us a play by play about how the cashier isn't even helping to bag, how long she is taking and how they should be able to help bag even when people have their own bags. She goes on to say that she is going to complain about her to customer service. I tried to just not engage with her.

I found both of these situations fascinating because that used to be me! I let little situations like this rule my world. Maybe the woman at the dollar store was on her lunch break although the line is notoriously long at that place. It's not really a place you can count on getting in and out of. I also wondered what the big rush for the woman at the grocery store was. Don't get me wrong...nobody likes waiting in lines. They stink and are a huge waste of time. But do you know what else is a big waste of time? Getting angry about it. Because it will change absolutely nothing. Now you are in a bad mood and yet nothing has changed.

If you can figure out a way to just accept the situation as it is you will be much more at peace. It's annoying, yes but is it worth getting all agitated and stressed over? Not in my opinion. It's like going Christmas shopping on black Friday. We've done it a couple of time to get some of those great deals and as long as you put on your patient pants and prepare yourself for a long wait it's not that bad. Seriously. But going anywhere expecting it to be a seamless experience is just setting yourself up for stress.

These were fairly easy situations to address but what about those big, huge things that are so freaking hard to accept? That is where we can get really stuck. If you can't come to a place of acceptance you may be hindering your growth and keeping you in a pattern that is not good for you or those around you.

I'm trying to accept that I didn't grow up in an ideal situation (really, who has?) with alcoholism, abuse and fits of rage. I need to accept that is how it was and not let it bog down my future. I have to accept that my parents didn't really have much interest in my life as an adult unless it was what I could do for them. I have need to accept that my relationship with my mother before she died was not a good one. And although I was hard on her at times she was even harder on me. Not to mention the feeling that since she was the mother shouldn't she have done everything in her power to try to make things better between us?

It's time to accept that every time I see people on Facebook praising their parents and how much they mean to them or how much they have done for them that isn't the experience I had. I must realize that the longing I feel when I see those types of posts are completely normal. I am also starting to uncover that the things I see as being unfair and unjust in my relationship with my parents had more to do with them than being a reflection of me.

You may need to accept a lot of situations in your life. Maybe it's the fact that you got a divorce and you feel bad that your family was broken up. It's time to accept where you are and move forward from there doing the absolute best that you can.

Maybe you put on weight in the past few years. Accept that your habits have not served you and see how you can move forward in a more healthy manor. You may have never been able to stick to a healthy eating plan and workout regimen in the past but that doesn't mean you can't do it now. Accept what has happened in the past and move forward knowing you can do better when you know how to.

There are all types of situations where we need to accept things we don't like. But the longer we resist what happened to us or where we are in our lives right now the longer you stay stuck in a negative, sometimes dangerous pattern.

You can start fresh today. You can move forward as if everything in your life has been fabulous. You can wake up tomorrow and say this will be the best day of my life. There are no rules as to how you are supposed to greet your day. And if you can learn to start the day in a positive way with hopes of a good day instead of drudgery about 'getting through' another day things will change for you. Life gets better when your perception changes. When you can look through a lens of; "yes, that happened but now things are going to be different." Be in charge of you and how you feel. Your brain is your bitch in the words of Jen Sincero. You tell it what to focus on. You've got this. Now go have the most amazing day.

If you or someone you know would benefit from some one on one work trying to overcome these issues or others that are holding you back please reach out to set up a free discovery call. I offer personal positivity training and would love to help you transform your thoughts from negative to positive to live a much happier life.

Have a fantastic week. Accept the things we cannot change. Go forth and be badass. I'm always here cheering you on.

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