• The Hopefulist

Always be YOU!

Here is the thing about life. You are going to be judged. It's not fair, you're not going to like it and people suck. But once you get over that you can move on and just be yourself. This picture is from a Philadelphia Eagles conference I went to with some friends the year after they won the Super Bowl. I didn't post this picture at first because I felt a little awkward about it but once I finally did I got so many nice comments. Things like, "I love this picture of you. Your fun personality really shines through." One of my favorite pictures is with Dave Hollis from the Rise business conference. In it (you really should have seen it by now....I post it all the time...lol) my mouth is wide open and I remember I just wanted my excitement of getting a selfie with Dave to show. And it does. The thing that struck me the most is I was just being my goofy self and I think my true self came through.

Since then, I have been putting a little more of my goofy personality into pictures and I think they turn out better. Will some people judge me for it? Sure. Do I care anymore? Not really. I mean a little, I'm, not a robot! But I don't care enough to not do it. I'm being myself through and through and if you don't like it...too bad for you!

It seems that no matter what we do we get judged for it. I put a picture up on the group page this morning that explains exactly what I mean by this. If you're too fat you get judged. If you're too skinny you get judged. If you are happy, then you must be on drugs but if you are sad then there is something wrong with you too. There is just no winning when it comes to other people's opinions and judgements of you and how you live your life.

One of the examples of this that always comes to my mind is women and their under garment wearing. If you wear a thong, you are slutty. If you wear normal underwear you are sporting grannie panties. If you don't wear any underwear at all and got forbid you have a bit of a camel toe which, sorry, is what happens when you don't wear underwear, you are judged as well. There is no winning!

I used to work with a girl at a radio station who would make comments all the time about how if your underwear was popping out of the back of your jeans you knew it and were doing it on purpose. As someone who wore low rise jeans and bikini type underwear I had this happen to me often. I would sit down at a barstool when out and then realize a little while later that my underwear was peaking out of the top. I would quickly tuck it in but I didn't know it was showing and was horrified when I realized it was. I took offense every time she made that remark. After about the third time she said it I called her on it. The main reason being that I knew if it was offending me she was also offending a good portion of the audience that has had it happen to them as well. This woman was a little on the larger side and I reasoned that she probably didn't wear low rise jeans. So I asked her if she did. She said she didn't and I responded that she couldn't really know if women knew when their underwear was peeking out without their knowledge. I got a reputation with the rest of the team that day of not being messed with. That my anger showed through and they basically weren't going to mess with me about it anymore. The whole point of it to me was exactly what we are talking about...you can't win. I know there are some women that purposely have their thong sticking out of the back of their jeans (the whale tale...it even has a name) but I wasn't doing that and I was offended every time she accused me and all other women of doing it on purpose.

What it comes down to this is this...you have to live your life for you and learn how to not worry about other people's judgement. Here is the thing too...people aren't really thinking about you. They may momentarily and say something mean but then they move on with their own lives. They don't think about it again. Meanwhile, you are agonizing over something someone said in passing for days, weeks, months and they never put more than two seconds of thought into it. Doesn't it seem really sad and pointless when you look at it that way?

So you do you and don't be shy about it. The more I show my true self the happier I am. I know there will be people who judge me but there always has been and there always will be. Get over it. You can't worry about what other people think. And it's so true...you wouldn't put any stock in it at all if you realized how little people really did think of you. You are off their radar in seconds...then they go back to thinking about themselves. Or judging other people. Here is another question...the person that says something mean to you, do you even like them? Do you respect them? Why do we feel bad when someone we don't even like or respect says something about us? It's so silly, really.

Today is hump day! We are at the halfway mark! Spend a little time being completely you and see how good it feels. Be the badass I know you are. Now, go make today your best day yet.

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