Are you your own worst enemy?
I have been at this business for over three years now. It's embarrassing to me that it hasn't gotten further along. It's not even a business to be honest. But why is it I'm still only where I am? Is it because my the goal of my business is not good? The goal being to help people live better, happier lives so no, I don't believe it's the goal. Is it that I'm not marketing it correctly? Yes, I believe that has a lot to do with it. Is it the way I think about the business in my mind? Yes, I think that also has a lot to do with it.
I never had any intention of having my own business. It's never been something I wanted. I never even wanted to be in management to be honest. I didn't want the responsibility. I have always just wanted to do my job and go home at the end of the day. I don't want all these things like success and failure hinging on me. The thought of it makes me incredibly anxious. But here I am trying to make my own way in this world and I'm not doing that great. My downloads of the podcast haven't increased in years. I'm not getting out the programs I think about constantly. I didn't even classify it as a business until this year. What I mean by that is I finally actually filed 'The Hopefulist' as a business in my state and all that entails. And since then I haven't done one single thing to further my business. Maybe I think I'm a fraud. Maybe I think; "who the hell are you to think you can run your own business?"
There has to be a reason why I officially filed my business with the state of New Jersey and then went on to do nothing except put out the podcast and blog every week. That's a good thing though. I've at least always tried to be consistent with getting the podcast out every week and I think I've done a pretty good job of that. But it isn't enough to actually call myself a business. And I haven't been able to increase my number of downloads in many months. If anything, I'm losing listeners.
So I'm at a crossroads and I have to determine how much of the situation I'm in right now is my fault. Have I been doing enough to promote my business and podcast? No, not even close. Have I put any of my million ideas into action in making a program that could help people improve their lives? Not in a very long time. Am I afraid that my ideas aren't worthy and won't work? Yes, that is exactly it. I have tried in the past and had some moderate success. Not much to write home about but I believe I have helped people and made a little money while doing it. But here's the thing. If I keep putting off other ideas than I won't fail. I won't be proving to myself this is a bad idea therefore that idea still lives in my mind as a possibility. Are you following me? Because once I try that idea and it doesn't go anywhere than I am disappointed and feel the failure of that idea. So if I just don't try it I won't fail. So I haven't been trying. And who is to blame for that? Yes, exactly. Me and me alone.
I have some major issues with imposter syndrome. Especially since running my own business is never something I considered until three years ago. I often think in the back of my head who are you to ask people for money? It's time to remind myself that I improved my life by like 75% in the past few years. I analyzed what worked for me and what didn't. I have this knowledge and I know it will help people. But I seem to be stuck in a mindset of "Who are you to charge people for this?" Well, it's my knowledge and my programs that can help people. Just like a personal trainer charges for their services so should I. I do give out a lot of information for free. My podcast is free. I do a lot of social media posts that I hope help people look at their lives in a different way. And if someone wants a more detailed program and someone to be their cheerleader that is what I do! And I have to stop thinking about the money making aspect and focus on the helping people part. If I know how you can live your life better that is valuable. That is worth something. Just like a personal trainer.
All this to say, I'm the one holding me back. On both a conscious and subconscious level. I have to get over my limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome and start helping people. That is what this business if all about. And I am disappointed in myself for not doing more sooner BUT there is nothing I can do about that now. The only thing I can do is be better in the future. I can take steps right now to do what I should have been doing all along. And I will. I'm not going to berate myself for what I haven't done but I will learn from it. And when I get down that I'm not further along I will remind myself it's not because of my ideas and the programs I have developed..it's because I haven't put them into action.
So what is it that you've been working toward and not getting anywhere? Is it you and some limiting beliefs that are holding you back? Have you not been proactive enough when it comes to going after your goals? Are you letting fear stop you from even trying (this is my biggest issue)?
Here is the thing about fear. It doesn't do us any good unless we are running away from a saber tooth tiger. Fear will only stop you from living your life to the fullest. Because if you try and fail then you have learned what doesn't work and you move forward with that knowledge. It's not a true failure if you learn from it. Now that you know what doesn't work you can try something else. Then something else. Because just like the song that inspired this whole business; 'A million dreams' from the Greatest Showman soundtrack there are a million ideas and dreams that can make something work. You have to just keep trying. Be persistent. Don't give up on your dreams. Keep working at them and trying different things. Pivot into different directions and keep going. You will get there. You just have to keep trying. And I happen to know I can do it and you can too. I believe in us. Now get on out there and make things happen.
Thank you as always for being part of The Hopefulist. If you liked today's episode please share it with your friends, post about it on social media and leave a darn review if you haven't already. It's a really great way to advertise the podcast so more people can discover it.
Have a fantastic week and of course be Badass. You know I'm here cheering you on.