Bad behavior – Wallowing
Wallowing, feeling sorry for yourself, playing the victim. Where does this behavior get you? Well, it keeps you down for sure. When something bad happens it is okay to feel sad, mad and a little victimized. But give yourself a deadline. Only allow yourself to wallow for a short period. Feel the feelings, move through them and then take action to improve your life.
Are you going through a break up? Is it something you didn’t want? Yeah, that totally sucks. There is nothing worse in this world than heartbreak. It’s all consuming. It really takes a toll on your psyche. It makes you feel so bad about yourself that the person you love doesn’t want to be with you anymore and it is very personal. It can’t be anything but personal. But if someone chooses to live their life without you in it…there is truly nothing you can do to change their mind. Maybe they will realize at some point what they lost…maybe they won’t. But you have to get to work moving on with your life regardless of what happens. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself only keeps you stuck in that despair and depression. Get on a dating site. Go out with friends. Find a new hobby. Get busy doing something that will change your focus.
Have you been treated unfairly in some situation? Go ahead…get mad. Feel the injustice. Sometimes life just sucks and it most certainly is not fair. But wallowing in that information isn’t going to make anything better in your life. In fact…it will make it worse by keeping you bitter and unhappy. If there is something you can do to try to right the injustice…do it, take action. If there isn’t anything you can do…let it go. Move on and realize that it is just a chapter ending in your book of life.
Did a friend cut you out of their life and no matter what you do or say it doesn’t make a difference to that person? Then it is time to move on. Realize you made your case and if they can’t see the worth in you and your friendship then it is time to find someone else who does or cherish the friends that you still have. I always say how surprised I am at the amount of friends I have lost through the years. I often thought it was just me but it seems to be a pretty common occurrence for a lot of people…especially us ladies. Go out and make some new friends. There has never been a better time to find new people to add to your life. Get in a Facebook group. Find some meet ups in your area. Go and see if you meet anyone. Afraid to go places by yourself? Get over it! You have nothing to lose. If you don’t meet anyone then you just wasted a night you may have been home watching t-v. Or you could meet a great group of new people that will become life long friends. Or meet one person that may become your bestie or spouse. Again, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Just do it!
Do you feel like you have really bad luck and the world is against you? Well, sure it is sometimes. But concentrating on the bad luck you have is only going to bring more bad luck into your life. You bring into your life what you focus on…I believe this! Once I stopped focusing on the negatives in my life there seemed to be a lot less of them. Or maybe there are the same amount and I just don’t notice them as much. Either way…it’s a much happier existence.
It’s okay to be mad and sad. But it’s important to only do for a short time. No one wants to be around a sad sap. Don’t be a sad sap! It is no fun at all. Be the one who is so happy that other people can’t help with but be happy when they are around you. Seem impossible? I thought so too. I’m not saying that people are automatically happy when I’m around but I’m pretty fun. Not always the case..but I have a good time and that spreads to other people. So get out of your rut. Take some action….the way to dodge depression is to be a moving target so it can’t get to you. Unless it’s clinical of course…that is not what I’m talking about. That is completely different and usually needs medication and therapy. But if you are just down in the dumps about a certain situation…get busy, take some action and do you! You won’t regret it.
It’s Cocktail Friday! Hope it is a great weekend. Now go make it your best day yet!