Bad Behaviors – Control
Do you know someone who is controlling? Are you controlling? It can be annoying AF when you have to deal with it so remember that when you are the one trying to control a situation. Dr. Phil says that people are controlling when they aren’t secure in how they can handle things when they don’t go the way they think they will. I get that. It makes sense to me. You want to make sure everything goes the way you want it so you don’t have to adjust when things don’t. Trust yourself. Trust that you can handle what comes your way.
I’ve always been extremely controlling. In every single aspect of my life. That’s why it was very important that I married someone extremely laid back. He lets me be the crazy one while he sits back and does what he can to help. And he doesn’t even mind my controlling ways. Well, sometimes…he does not appreciate my back seat driving. Honestly, if I were him I would have made me start driving a long time ago. But don’t tell him I said that! I just want things the way I want them. Is that so wrong? Well, kinda. It depends on the situation. I’m lucky that my hubby doesn’t mind that I take care of all the decorating. I worked with a woman once who had a meltdown because she didn’t like her husbands choice for a shower curtain in the bathroom. She agreed to let him decorate it. Hey, that was your first mistake! But seriously, think about what is really important to you before you agree to give up control. You can’t control everything so pick your poison.
I have been pretty bad at work in the past. With my last job I really did want to make all the decisions because I thought I knew what I was doing. I felt like I came up with really good topics and news stories to focus on. But I should have been more inclusive of other ideas. My work is so important to me and I just want things to be right, good, great, etc. I knew I was being controlling and taking over. I should have been more open but it was a difficult situation.
Do you have to be in charge of the plans for your girls night out? The great thing is if you let someone else do it you may end up finding something new that you love. Be it a restaurant, activity or drink. Give other people a chance to indulge their wants and desires. At a recent gathering I had wanted to play one of my favorite board games. I mentioned it to the group and nobody really seemed interested. So I dropped it. We ended up playing a game I never had before and it was so fun. We laughed and it even helped us get to know each other better.
I’m not even going to get into the kid situation since I don’t have any but I imagine it would be easier to just give in to certain things. Pick your battles so to speak.
When it comes to the house…I always want everything to be perfect. I want to impress people with my home. I want them to think it looks nice on the outside, inside and to appreciate the way it’s decorating. Oh and it has to be spotless! I’m actually getting a little more lax with that. I’m sure people are pulling out their white gloves when they come to see me but the thing with cleaning is no one notices when you do it….only when you don’t! So I have let myself off the hook a little if I have a friend or two over for lunch or if the neighbors drop by for a drink. Of course I still go nuts and clean like a maniac when we have a party or overnight guests. Again, pick your battles and try not to make yourself crazy.
Just remind yourself that you can’t control everything no matter how hard you try. And if things don’t go as planned be confident in the fact that you can handle anything that comes your way. Trust yourself. You are a badass….this I know for sure!
It’s hump day! Now, go make it your best day yet!