• The Hopefulist

Be the hero of your story

So many of us look for others to save us, to make us happy, rescue us and make life better for us. It really is true that you have to find happiness within yourself in order to be truly happy. This always seems like such a tall order for us to take on. We often don't know how to make ourselves happy let alone consider ourselves the hero of our lives. But you are the only one can be the hero in your story. It lays on you. It's up to you. You have to make it happen, therefore, you are the hero. The one and only. You can have people that add to and enhance your life but they can't be the sole source of your happiness.

Think about some of your favorite stories. Who is usually the hero in these stories? I'm not talking about fairy tales where a handsome prince swings in and saves the day. I'd like to think we are all above those stories by this time but so many women still think a man is going to come in and make all their dreams come true. I'm not being pro-couple. I think being part of a couple is great. But they ultimately have to enhance your life, not be your whole life.

Things are changing and we are seeing a lot more women being portrayed in charge of their own lives and in more powerful positions. I was raised to never have to depend on others financially so I was able to do as I wish when it comes to my life. I always considered myself lucky in the fact that I figured out pretty early in life what my passion was and I followed my dream. I worked my way up in the radio business and moved around a bit. Once I hit the Jersey Shore I was hooked and that became my new passion....living there full time. I was able to make that happen as well in cooperation with my husband of course. Hopefully you are in a position where your spouse is behind your dreams. Hopefully, if they aren't on the same wavelength, you can figure out a compromise. Hopefully, this is something you discussed before marriage but I realize that things change.

It's about choosing your priorities. What is most important to you? Your marriage, where you live, the type of house you live in, the work that you do, or the happiness of your children? I'm going to throw something at you that may seem a little crazy but I think you should consider the lives of your children minimally. Yes, of course you want you kids to be happy. But your dreams and happiness should be your priority no matter how old your kids are. So often I hear that people don't want to disrupt their children's lives by taking them to another town, a new school, where they don't know anyone. I know, it would be a little rough. But you need to realize they will be in a position someday to make the own choices in life. They will have the rest of their lives to do what makes them happy. Kids won't shatter with a move to another town. This is your one life and I want you to do what will bring you the most happiness. No matter what that may be and what you need to do in order to make that happen.

So, think about some of your favorite people. Real and fictional. Who are they? What do you admire about them? What are the aspects of their life that you find so alluring? Is it the house they live in? The type of job they have? The area that they live in? A seemingly happy marriage? Being part of the PTA? Look at characters in books and t-v shows if you don't have many role models in your real life. Figure out what you believe it is about them that would make you happy as well.

Here is the main thing, if you aren't happy...I want you to start figuring out why, right now. There is no time to wait. Life goes by so fast and we always think we have so much time. I want you to start taking the steps toward the life you've always dreamed of. You are the only one who can make it happen. You have to. Figure out how to be the hero in your own story. Because you are the only one that can be.

It's finally cocktail Friday y'all. I hope you have a fantastic weekend and be safe in whatever you do. And go make today, your best day yet!

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