Being true to yourself
In the last few years since my transition from pessimist to hopefulist one of the main differences is I am who I am. I used to try to be a certain way in front of certain people. And when I was truly myself I would worry that I said something wrong, something that offended someone or was just a little too much for some people. (Guess what? I am too much for some people.) I got to a point where I realized it didn't really matter what other people thought of me, if they liked me. What mattered most is what I thought of me.
Are you familiar with the word congruence? I really wasn't but it means is living in alignment with what you know is the best of you consistently. It's speaking your truth, living your values and living with integrity. This is not easy. I have gotten more outspoken when it comes to certain things and it can be scary with some of the backlash you may face. When racial injustice bubbled up last summer I felt it was time for me to speak out. I spoke my truth on how I felt about the situation. And trust me, I got a lot of opinions from people. I got into a discussion about it with a group of friends at a gathering and I was the only one with my opinion. But I stood my ground, made well informed points and I think I may have given at least one person pause to think about it a little more. But trust me, going against the grain is not easy. But it is important to stand for what you believe in.
And here's the thing. Your brain knows when you are being congruent. It knows when you say one thing and do another. It keeps track all those times when you say you are going to do something or not do something and don't follow through. This is why I always say never break promises to yourself. If you say you are going to work out, then do it. Because if you don't, your brain realizes you don't mean what you say and your word is no good. So, what happens then? It erodes your confidence. When you can't trust yourself you can't be confident in yourself.
If you want to live congruently on a consistent basis you need to set a version of yourself you want to live and work toward that everyday. If you aren't exactly where you want to be then figure out who that person is and work toward that version everyday. Write down the traits of that person and ask yourself often throughout the day if you are living that vision.
As I mentioned, this isn't always easy. People may disagree with you. People may have an issue with this new version of you. But it's always about how you feel about yourself. When you feel good about yourself you gain more confidence. Be yourself, walk your talk and don't make apologies for doing what you think is right.
Happy hump day everyone! We are halfway to the weekend. Now go out there and be badass. I know you can and I'm here, cheering you on.