Change your focus
Have you ever felt jealous of others and find yourself being snarky and bitter about them? Yes, me too. We say to ourselves; "Why them and not me?" We wonder why we can't have all the things they have that we want. We focus on that and it makes us feel resentful. Have you ever been there? But what if we're looking at things the wrong way?
I've said this before and it really is the key to unlocking the happiness and satisfaction you feel in life...Focus on what you have instead of what you don't. As a lifelong pessimist I never took stock of all I had, of how far I've come. I only saw what I didn't have yet. And I can tell you if this is the way you look at your life you will never have enough. You will never feel satisfied and you will always want for more. There is nothing wrong with wanting more but you have to realize how much you already have as well.
When I did get things that I wanted I wouldn't even celebrate that. I would just chock it up as something that finally happened that should have been that way all along. I remember one time telling my brother about something exciting that had happened to me and his response was; "I guess you will be celebrating this weekend". Well, no...not really. I hadn't planned to celebrate. And why was that? Because it was something I thought I should have had long ago so I saw it as overdue rather than being grateful that it had finally happened. Are you following me? Now I try to celebrate as many things as I can. Because that is what life is about. Making a big freaking deal out of the good things and downplaying the not so great things.
I finally got to a point where I focused on all that I had instead of what I don't. And it literally life changing. When you can see your own life as one of abundance and blessings than you don't feel the need to be bitter and jealous of others. It's always good to take stock once in awhile of how much you really have that you take for granted every day. How much do you have right now that you once dreamed of, wished for and worked for? I'm willing to bet it's a lot. You once dreamed of being married and starting a family. Buying a house and decorating it exactly as you wish. Building a life with the family that you created. But you just consider that status quo at a certain point. You take it all for granted. No judgement on that...we all do it. It's human nature in fact. But that is why it's so important to take stock of all that you really have and be grateful for all those dreams and goals you made come true.
You may have an adequate house and decent car but your co-worker has a bigger house in a better neighborhood with a pool! You walk around thinking why does that person deserve it and you don't. NOOOO. That is where we all go wrong. What we need to focus on our own stuff and what we love about it. You may not be in your dream house yet but you can make the one you're in now everything you want it to be. Focus on what you love about those things you already have and you will find your life to be so much more satisfying. It's true...trust me.
That doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't want more. You totally should. But there is a difference between wanting more and being bitter about the the things you don't have. Happy people don't go through life being jealous and bitter of others. That is because they are appreciative of what they have. They know they may not have everything they want but they have enough so anything else is just gravy.
It all comes down to gratitude. To remember all the blessings we have and how good life can be every single day. So switch your focus. Start concentrating on all that you have (which is likely so much) instead of what you don't. In order to kick this practice off you could write out an achievement list. Write down all of the things that you once wanted so badly and now have. What are the major goals you have achieved? Make sure to include all aspects of your life: family, home, career, health, finances. It's all good stuff. And if you aren't killing it (yet) in one aspect you may be doing great in another. You may not have as much money saved as you had hoped but maybe you just lost 5 pounds. Or you just got a big promotion. Or maybe your husband was extra nice to you over the weekend. There is always good in our lives. We just have to make sure to see it.
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Now go on out there and be badass this week. I'm always here cheering you on.