• The Hopefulist

Changing your thoughts. Yes, you can.

Are you someone who is really hard on yourself? Do you call yourself names when you do something wrong? Do you feel like a victim? Do you believe that life is more unfair to you than to others? You have to stop thinking this way! Right now. It seems impossible, I know. Oh, sure...I'll just change my thoughts, right. But it is possible. I'm the proof right here.

No, it doesn't happen overnight. It takes time and you have to be vigilant in policing your thoughts then correcting them when they veer off from where you want them to be. You have to be aware of what you are thinking and when they go to a place that doesn't serve you change them to something more positive. What do I mean? When you find yourself thinking horrible things about yourself or you life find something that is good in your life. Focus on that. Do you love your downtime when you get home from work? Do you love spending time with your kids? Do you love a long, warm bath? Then think about those things when you start to fall into the vast hole of victimhood. Also remind yourself that however bad you think you have it there are others that have it so much worse. That can sometimes put things into perspective for you. As I always say, if you have shelter, food and clothes you are ahead of the majority of people in this world. If you have working utilities...you are in bonus territory.

I believe the most important thing is to learn to love yourself. I know, a tall order. I never thought I would get to a point where I would even like myself let alone love myself. But the first step is to accept yourself for who you are. If there are things you would like to change then work on it. But overall, you real personality is inside you and whatever that is it's okay. Be yourself. Have confidence in who you are and have faith that those who are supposed to be in your life will be because of who you are.

I went to a party recently and I was having a really good time. I knew a lot of people there so I was mingling from one spot to another but I kept coming back to where my husband was sitting with a friend. Toward the end of the night one of the people sitting at that table just spouted out to me; "I don't know you but I love you. We have to be friends." It was so flattering. I was obviously in my most charming, delightful mode. But the best part of it was, I was just being myself.

Find the aspects of your personality that you like and focus on them. Incorporate more fun into your life. Stop being so serious all the time (I know, I hated when people said that to me too). But it is so true. When you can let go, be goofy and just have fun you will feel so much more happiness. I believe that laughter is one of the biggest components of a good life. So get your silly on. It's fun!

Here is another tip that has helped me in the past. Pick three words that you want to embody and write them down somewhere. In your phone, on a post it in your car, on the fridge or at your desk. Just put it someone where you will see them often. And set an alarm to go off three times during the day where you check in with yourself to see if you are being the three words you want to exude. For example I like to be inspirational, fun and courageous. So I check with myself throughout the day to see if I am acting in these ways. These words aren't written in stone either. You can change them up once you feel you truly are the words you have been aspiring toward.

When you find yourself going down the rabbit hole of self pity stop yourself and focus on the good in your life. There is some good. There always is. You've likely just been taking too much in your life for granted. Picture the life you want and find ways you can move toward it. Find ways you can start enjoying it now no matter how small it seems. If you want to live by the water take a day trip to a place that you would love to live to soak it all in. If you want to be the greatest pickleball player in the world take some lessons, watch the pro's on YouTube or just play with your friends.

Remember to never call yourself bad names. Start treating yourself like you would your kids or best friend. Give yourself some grace and realize you likely have much more than you think you have.

Some big news to share too guys. If you are ready and willing to finally change your thoughts I have a challenge for you. It will start next week. After five days of this challenge I think you will feel a little bit better about your life and I dare say, a little happier. There will be prizes and community and mostly a better life. Are you guys ready for this? I mean, are you ready for this????

Stay tuned for more information but if you are interested, let me know. You can shoot me a message through Facebook, Instagram or at thehopefulist1@gmail.com. It's going to be epic. I can't wait to get started! I can't wait for you to start living your best life.

If you like today's episode please leave me a review on the platform you listen on. And share with your friends. Go ahead and take a screen shot and share it. Now go be Badass this week. You know I'm right here, cheering you on!

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