• The Hopefulist

Comparison...ain't no one got time for that!


You will never get the right mindset by comparing yourself to others. Not only does what others do/have/get have no bearing on your life...it's all an illusion. Just like this picture. It doesn't matter if it's social media, what you see over the fence into your neighbors life or your co-worker only talking about the good in their life, you aren't seeing the whole or real picture. Just like this apple. In the mirror, it looks perfect. But in reality, it isn't at all what it seems. Would you buy an apple like that in the store? No, of course not...so don't buy into the illusion that people's lives are as they appear either. No one has a perfect life. Everyone has problems and issues. You just don't always see the messiness of real life. Stop the comparing since you don't know the real story and the whole picture.


It reminds me a little of the overnight success syndrome. Most of the time 'overnight success' stories are in actuality a story that has been unfolding for many years with a lot of work, sweat and tears along the way. Then suddenly, if you're lucky, all that work will pay off and you will become successful. But no one saw all that work you did for years to get where you are. They only see how good your life is now due to your success. It's really all an illusion.


I recently posted a list of accounts I follow on Instagram because it's so much more uplighting and empowering than my Facebook feed. (If you haven't gotten that list, sign up for my newsletter at www.hopefulist.com/subscribe) When I spend time on Instagram I feel good, positive and ready to tackle what I need to in order to get where I want to go. When I get done scrolling through Facebook I feel stressed, anxious and sometimes downright angry. I need, as do you, to surround myself with people who will root for me, cheer me on and give me information that will empower me rather than insult me and feel less than. Let's face it, we all spend too much time on social media. It is addicting and hard to quit. But I beg of you to lessen the amount of time you spend there. It's the number one source of comparison and it's just not real. But it seems real and our brains perceive it as real. So limit if as much as you can. Even just watching t-v programs are a source of comparison. If you watch Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous you will inadvertently compare your life to theirs. It makes your brain feels like there is something wrong because you don't have the same things. It's so easy to compare the lifestyle but no one remembers or pays attention to the work that was likely involved in attaining that life.


Women often compare our appearance to other women as well. This is so dangerous. I will literally go to the beach and be sad that I don't look as good as the 21 year olds strutting around in their bikini. It's ridiculous! There is no way I'm going to compare a 50 year old body to a 21 year old body in any positive way. So just don't do it. Being envious of others does absolutely nothing to help you achieve what they have. Hard work does. Doing what they did to get where they are does. We are comparing the wrong thing. We are comparing results when we should be comparing the work put in. Maybe there are 50 year olds who look as good as a 21 year old on the beach. Maybe they never indulge in their favorite foods. Maybe they spend two hours a day in the gym. If you know what it takes you can decide if it's worth the work for you.


Stop comparing and start living. Live the life of your dreams. Do the things that bring your joy. Look to others for inspiration but only if you can do it without jealousy. Surround yourself with people who will help you on your path. There are so many people that truly want others to succeed. (hint, I'm one of them) Find those people and look to them. Get wisdom and motivation from them. Model their behavior but always be yourself. Your path is yours alone. You really don't want to live someone else's life, you want to live yours in the very best way possible.


It's hump day! I hope this is a good day for you. Tomorrow we will focus on a higher purpose. And by the way, if you enjoy this podcast could you maybe screen shot it and share it with your friends. And please leave a review on the platform you listen through. I would be very grateful. I'll even right it down in my journal! Now, go out there and be badass. I'm cheering you on!

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