• The Hopefulist

Design your life!

Do you feel like you are stuck? Is life running you instead of you running your life? Does it seem like your current life is far from the life you have dreamt of but you don't know how to break out?

Yes, I've been there. Getting up every day dreading going to work. Dreading having to do all the things that needed to be done. Looking forward to getting back to my bed. I have typically taken a nap most days with my early schedule and I would often wake up and my first thought was I can't wait to come home and take a nap. One day it occurred to me how sad that was. I couldn't wait to get back to sleep? That is not a life. That is escaping life! I realized it was time to do something different. But what?

I was miserable in my job. Not because I hated my job. In fact, I loved my job. But my partner who I worked very closely was making my life a living hell. Did you ever have a co-worker who worked against you constantly? Who did everything they could to sabotage every single thing you did even if it was detrimental to them as well? No, not that bad? That's great. You're already in a better place than I was.

Because honestly, if I were to have given myself advice at that point I would have said to quit. Life is too damn short to let someone have that much of a negative impact in your life on a daily basis. But I didn't want to quit. I had worked really hard to get and keep this job. It was a dream job and these types of jobs don't come around very often. Mostly, I just didn't want to let him win. If I left than he would get to take over our show on his own while I sat home and wondered what I would do with the rest of my life. Uh-uh, no way! I wasn't going to let him win. But now that I think back on it, was I winning while coming home miserable everyday because of yet another incident where he tried to bring me down?

I eventually was let go from that job because of issues with my partner. It wasn't a good situation. I felt victimized. I was devastated. Mostly, I was heartbroken that I lost a job that I really wanted to keep despite how hard my partner made it for me. But that is when inspiration struck. That is when I started to think differently.

In the week following my job loss I thought about how unfair I had been treated. I realized that I wanted to make sure I was never put in a position again where I could lose my job because of others actions. But that meant working for myself. That is the only true way I could make sure that didn't happen again. I had never even thought of working for myself. Starting a business of my own and being the boss. In fact, I never even wanted to be a boss. I didn't want the stress and responsibility of it. But I knew that podcasting was starting to take off and I had a friend who told me he could help me if I wanted to start one. Let me give it a go, I thought to myself.

From that point on I got more and more ideas on how I could make a business of my own work. Speaking events, coaching, writing. The more I thought about it the more possibilities I saw. The only reason I was every able to do any of this is because I was able to change my fixed mindset to a growth mindset. Oh, what are those you ask? Well, I'm gonna tell you.

Someone with a fixed mindset thinks their intelligence and skills are fixed. That they already know all they will ever know and go about their life based on that information. For example, when I lost my job my fixed mindset told me that I would have to find another job in my chosen field of radio broadcasting or go find a 9-5 job somewhere doing something else. That is what I've been taught to do and it was what I believed were the only options to me. But by working on a growth mindset I realized that those weren't the only two options. In fact, I feel pretty silly now that my mind was that limited. Once I let my mind wander I came up with all kinds of possibilities I had never considered before. Because someone with a growth mindset knows they can achieve anything they set out to do with hard work and learning new things.

This is what I want to talk about today. Which type of mindset do you think you have? I had a fixed mindset for most of my life. I thought I could only do what I already knew how to do and there wouldn't be any other options. A fixed mindset isn't optimal but it isn't fatal either. If you are secure in your job and you are happy with what you are at then maybe you don't need to strive for a growth mindset. But if you want to try new things you need to be open to skills you don't currently have. It's not just about work it's about hobbies and activities too.

If you want to switch your mindset from fixed to growth you must remind yourself that your possibilities are endless. That once you get an idea about something there is a huge potential for it to grow in a million different directions if you let your mind think about it. Know that you can do anything you set your mind to as long as you are willing to work at it and likely you will suck at it at first. Few of us can naturally pick up a new skill and have everything go well right away. No, you will likely suck at it at first. But you keep doing it and practicing and you will get better. There is no doubt in my mind.

If you'd like to learn even more about growth vs. fixed mindset you can check out the book called Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck. A lot of good information in there.

So, tomorrow when you get up tell yourself that today can be different than yesterday. Then give yourself time to consider how. And then how you can make that happen. It just keeps growing from there. It's a growth mindset set. I really do crack myself up!

If you are interested in designing your own life and don't quite know where to start I can help! Set up a free call with me where we can discuss plans to get your started onto the path of your dream life! Stop waiting for life to get better. You have to make it better and you can design the life of your dreams.

If you liked this episode please leave me a review if you haven't already on the platform that you listen through be it Apple, Spotify or TuneIn. Or share it with a friend or two on social media. I would be most grateful.

Now go on out there and see the world in a whole new light! The world truly is your oyster. Go find that pearl. And as always, be badass. I'm right here, cheering you on.

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