• The Hopefulist

Have no Shame!


Persistence. It feels like sometimes no matter what you do you just can't stay committed to those goals? Am I right? Especially when it comes to health and fitness. I am constantly putting demands on myself. When I will eat, how much I will eat, how often I will work out, etc. And sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. This is when persistence comes in.


You know the old saying about insanity is when you do the same thing over and over expecting a different result. That is what a lot of us do. We think this is the time we will stick to it. This time I will do whatever it is I need to do to make it work. Have you ever been there? I know I have, time and time again. I believe I have a workable plan for my health and fitness. I can often stick to the plan I have. I will follow along with my eating plan. I will do the workouts. But then sometimes I just fall off the wagon. But overall I think this works for me. I've also made baby steps along the way. Small changes that have made a big difference.


I've often had an issue with controlling myself on weekends. Friday night would roll around and I would act as if it were a food free for all for the weekend. I have worked hard to change that mindset. Do I still sometimes overdue it on the weekends? Absolutely. But I know some of my triggers now and how to avoid them, most of the time. I also have gotten my binge eating at night quelled right now. These things have a habit of sneaking back in at times but like I said, baby steps are helping to keep me on track more often than not.


But if you haven't gotten to this point. If you haven't been able to find a program that works for you then keep looking. Don't keep following a plan that you can only make it until Wednesday every week before you throw in the towel. You have to find healthy foods that you enjoy. Yes there are healthy foods that are totally delicious. In fact, once you eat more whole, real food the more you will crave them and your taste buds will literally change to look forward to these types of meals.


A few years back I used to eat a skinless chicken thigh for dinner most nights. People would generally look at me like I was crazy because chicken breast is considered more healthy and less fatty. Yes, that is absolutely true. But I'm not a great cook. I always overcooked my chicken and it tasted dry. I didn't like it. I didn't enjoy. So I decided to go with little more fatty option to satisfy my cravings. No, it's not as healthy as a breast but it's way better than a cheeseburger which is what I would have likely ended up having after a couple days of not feeling satisfied with my dinner.


I tell you all of this to demonstrate how I still think my plan works for me. But if I continue to fail week after week it's time to change up that plan. And I use the health and fitness example because it seems to be the most relatable for us women. But here is the kicker, even if you haven't been able to stick to a plan DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP. It won't help. In fact, it will only hurt your efforts. You will never shame you way into submission. If you can't follow a plan that is because you have the wrong plan. There isn't something wrong with you. You have to find something that will work for you in the long term. And hating on yourself will never get you there. It will just make you feel bad which in turn makes you want to turn to junk food as a way to comfort yourself. The only way you can continue moving toward your goals is if you feel good about yourself. And that happens when you are kind to yourself.


I know we all want to wake up tomorrow and have our weight exactly where we want it to be or any of our goals to be achieved but we know by now it doesn't work that way. So stop with the quick fixes. They are literally setting you back. Look at it this way. You start a restrictive eating plan because you want to lose 20 pounds in the next two months. Is that doable? If you are on Extreme Makeover, maybe. But if you are living your life and doing all the things you have to do everyday then that is likely a too extreme goal. I know, I know...you think you can really do it if you keep yourself in check, keep up the willpower and remind yourself how much you want this. I know you think that because I've been there so many times. But if you're plan is too restrictive you will definitely not be able to sustain that plan. You will fall off your plan and eat foods you aren't supposed to. Then you won't feel like working out. And then it's so much harder to get back on plan the next day. You do this for three weeks in a row and you find you haven't lost a pound. In fact, you may have put on one or two. But if you just set realistic expectations you would be 5 pounds down after three weeks. Isn't that the better option? Because you know that when you lose weight really fast it tends to come back on really fast?


Don't rush things you want to last forever. You want to have a healthy relationship with food and you want to eat in a way that fuels your body so you have energy to do all you want to do. This is when small steps are better. Making choices that will become habit is the way to go. Doing things in a way that you can feel good about each small win. No matter how small it is. This is the way to go. With persistence. Be persistent in taking small steps. In making changes one at a time so as to not overwhelm yourself. Make a reasonable plan that will have you feeling satisfied yet not overdoing it. And this is how you should go about achieving all of your goals. Small chunks instead of thinking you can do everything in one day. I still have a bad habit of that when it comes to my business. But I'm trying to get better. And as I already said, hating on myself for not getting it done already is not helping. Seriously.


What I want for you is to come up with a doable plan that you can follow. Don't pile too much on your plate because you will become overwhelmed. It's okay to go slow. It's better to go slow. Pick a deadline of something at least two months longer than you would like. That way there is no pressure and if you get there ahead of time it's just a bonus!


You can do whatever you set your mind to. I know this to be true. Because I have found that is the case with me and for someone who had so much self-loathing, no self-esteem and no faith in herself that is remarkable. You just have to believe in yourself, root yourself on and make plans that you can actually follow. Now go out there and do it!!!!


I've got some real exciting changes coming up. I'm working on a new website. I can't wait for it to be done y'all! And new offerings for you take advantage of. Stay tuned!


And meanwhile, go out there and kick ass this week. And always be Badass. You know I'm here cheering you on.

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