• The Hopefulist

How I became The Hopefulist

I was in the same boat as a lot of you one year ago. I had just lost my job. It wasn't my fault. It was just something that happened, again...just like it did to you. Is it unfair? Absolutely. It sucks but there is nothing we can do about it except make plans for our next move. Are you out of work completely right now? Do you think there will be a job to go back to or are you starting all over again? Be honest about this questions. I don't mean to be the doomsdayer but a lot of businesses will fold. It's just a reality. A lot of jobs will be eliminated now that the world realizes how much can be done virtually. It's time to get those ducks in a row and figure out YOUR next move. How will you pivot in order to navigate life in this new world.

Most of us have these stories we've been telling ourselves for years that are constantly holding us back. Like the woman who was cheated on by her husband and has sworn off men forever because she feels that all men cheat and will ultimately hurt her. 15 years after her divorce she is still clinging to that story. Too afraid to put herself out there again. All men do not cheat. There are really good guys out there. You just have to refine your picker.

The person who is in their 30's and 40's who is still letting their bad childhood hold them back from realizing their true potential. We have all kinds of subconscious thoughts that keep us stuck in situations like these. Did some of us get the shaft? Absolutely. But sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves is not going to change anything.

I had a sense that the things that happened to me were unfair for most of my life. I didn't have the greatest upbringing. I did have some amazing opportunities, like going to college debt free. I got the chance to pursue my dream job in music/radio. I got an in and really made it work for me. But I chose one of the most brutal, unfair industries in the world. Coincidence? I don't know. But if I felt like I was subjected to a lot of injustices before...hold my beer, you ain't seen nothing yet.

I was stuck for a long time on how much others had that I didn't. I have always considered myself a rule follower. I followed the path that society dictates is the right path. I graduated from high school, then college, found a career and worked my way up in the biz. Yet there was so much I didn't have that I felt other people in my life did have, but they didn't follow the rules. They didn't go to college or had babies very young. But they met someone, got married...had a house and money to do things that were out of reach for me. It all seemed very unfair to me. And I got stuck on it. I didn't concentrate on the fact that I had a very exciting job that I loved to do everyday. That people knew my name and were impressed with what I did. That I met famous people and got to go onstage and introduce them at concerts. I had access to a lot of free swag from where I worked and I definitely took advantage while I could. I got tons of promotional products from artists, movies that came out and I don't think I paid for a concert in 20 years. But I didn't concentrate on any of that. I only focused on what I didn't have and how unfair that was. Why did I follow all the rules and still not have everything I wanted? I honestly felt like life was extra unfair to me.

When I lost my last job about a year ago, I already had a leg up in the fact that I had already realized that I wanted to focus more on my newfound purpose...helping pessimists like myself find a way to become more optimistic. Because I knew at this time that I had made the transition for myself. I was a little in awe of myself when I realized my thinking was completely different than it had been most of my life. I wanted to discover the things that really worked to make that happen for me. So, I had already started my blog. It was only about two weeks in when I lost my job. I often said my theme song in life is "Here I go again on my own" by Whitesnake. That is how I felt when I lost, yet another radio job. I did feel the unfairness of the situation. Here we go again. But this time I handled it differently. I was angry, outraged and mostly heartbroken because I loved my job. But when I started harping on how unfair everything was I realized, yes..it is unfair. What now? Sitting around crying is never going to help you. Yes, you need to take time to feel all the feelings and process your thoughts. BUT then, you need to work on a new plan. One that will work for you.

I realize I have operated most of my life on the theory that life has been more unfair to me than most. That is the story I've been telling myself. And I let myself off the hook a lot when it came to working hard because I've worked really hard and still don't have everything I want. But now, that I focus on what I do have instead of what I don't...the only way to get what I really want is to work my butt off. Sitting around complaining about how unfair my life has been is never going to change anything. And honestly, there are a whole lot of people that have it way worse than I ever did. But I couldn't get away from my story. Once I did, I've been the happiest I've ever been. I've done the hard work to figure out the mark I want to leave on this world and how I can do that. It's been a struggle financially at times but I really am happier than I've ever been so it isn't all about money.

What is the story you've been telling yourself all these years to stop you from realizing your full potential? What can you do right now to start getting over that story and changing the narrative? If you are out of work now, you have the opportunity to consider anything you want with the rest of your life. People will be turning to other people for skills and knowledge now more than ever. The world has changed. How can you take advantage of it? Homework for the weekend. Come up with three new ways you can make money. Brainstorm, think outside the box, consider every option, no idea is a bad idea.

Week one and day 5 of the #hopefulistchallenge is done. Are you feeling better yet? Have you been doing your homework? It's finally #cocktailfriday. I hope you get a chance to grab an adult beverage and relax. Have a fun and safe weekend. I hope whatever you do is fantastic. Now, go make today...your best day yet!

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