• The Hopefulist

Identifying the fears holding you back.

Fear is one of those things that has a big place in our day to day lives but often on the subconscious or subliminal level so we don't realize how much it affects our decisions. Fear is holding you back from living the life you truly desire and nothing will change until you address them.

One of the most fascinating things I've learned about recently is the difference between a growth and fixed mindset. When you have a fixed mindset (which is what I had for most of my life) you operate under the assumption that you know what you know and you don't think you can gain much more knowledge about certain things.

On the flip side is the growth mindset which means the things you don't know how to do you know you can learn. One of my biggest issues is technology. I have a habit of saying that I'm terrible at tech. I still say it. But I've learned so much more than I knew a year or so ago. I'm running and updating my own website. I'm recording and posting a podcast every week. I'm learning how to record guests for the podcast and how to put that together with my intro and outro. It's a lot. It's very frustrating at times. But it's all possible. And now is the best time ever to learn to how to do new things because of a little thing called google and another little thing called YouTube. You can honestly find a YouTube video on anything. And it has been a lifesaver for me and many others I'm sure.

If you realize you may have a fixed mindset the first thing to do is change your self-talk about how you go about learning new things. Stop saying things like you will never figure it out or worse, not even try at all. I'm here to tell you that you can do it. It's not only possible but so likely for you to learn what you need to know because of all the technology we have now. And if it's something you can't learn on the internet then you can have someone show you or take a class or buy a book. But whatever it is you don't know you can learn.

Having a fixed mindset may be holding you back in so many ways. Maybe you want to try a different career but you worry about all the things you don't know how to do in that field. You can learn! There are a lot of things I worry about in my business. There is a lot I don't know aside from just the tech aspect. I have to budget and do accounting and set aside taxes and learn how to put money back in the business. Creating an LLC and all the potential copyright and legal issues. It's a lot! It's so much that it would scare a lot of people off from even trying. But this is where the growth mindset is the key to the golden kingdom. You can learn how to do anything. Or at the very least, hire someone to do anything.

There can be all types of things you are holding back on for fear of not enough knowledge. Maybe you are looking for a new house and you find one that is the perfect location with wonderful neighbors and in your price range but it needs some fixing up. You can totally learn how to do home repairs. There is a YouTube video for everything. It may take longer than you want and not be perfect but you can do it. And then redo it. Or you can hire someone to do it.

Fear holds us back in so many ways. Mostly in the form of limiting beliefs. It's when we think we can't do something just because we haven't done it before. I like to use the example of a toddler learning how to walk. They fall an average of 18 times an hour when learning. And I bet when you watched your child you never once said; "oh well, they can't figure it out. I guess they will crawl for the rest of their lives." No, of course not. You kept encouraging them and applauding their progress no matter how small it was. That is what you need to do for yourself.

The other thing you need to do is stop telling yourself that you aren't cut out for certain things. Some people think they can't be runners or athletic because they've never done those things before. But that just means you haven't really tried or you gave up too soon. Take my pickleball obsession. I've never been a particularly athletic person when it comes to sports. But I started playing this game and it's literally become part of my daily life. I don't know if I would call myself athletic even now but I do like to win! Mostly, it's just fun and a great way to get active everyday.

Kind of like when you've tried to get healthy and lose weight in the past. You may have always fallen off the wagon or not been able to reach your goal. It doesn't mean you can't. It just means you haven't found a plan that works for you yet. But to say I just can't do it isn't helpful. Because you can. You just need to find something that works for you and commit to it. Be disciplined and build new habits.

Learning anything new is never easy. But staying the same is worse when you know you want to grow and evolve. You can do literally anything you set your mind to if you are willing to put in the work. Some things are worth the work and some things aren't. Those are your decisions to make. But don't ever think you can't do something because you never have and no one in your family ever has. You are you and you can design your life exactly as you wish. And that's what I hope you do.

Start trying to recognize when you are letting a limiting belief hold you back from something you want to do or try. Nobody got up one day and ran a marathon. They started with a half mile and then a mile and then two. You have to be willing to make mistakes and look foolish sometimes which is the thing that used to stop me. But I've looked foolish so many times now I realize it isn't the end of the world like I had feared. Life goes on but I'm smarter now because if I don't know what to do yet I know what NOT to do.

Don't ever be afraid to try. The only people who will judge you are others who aren't willing to try. But the hardest part and first step is to realize how many limiting beliefs you may be having everyday. Watch when you tell yourself there is something you can't do or something you don't know anything about. Ask yourself if that statement is true. Is it true that you can't run a marathon? Probably not today but you can run a half a mile or even a block. And you can work your way up.

Is it true that you can't lose weight or have you just been stuck in a pattern that doesn't work for you? When was the last time you tried a different approach to your weight loss and health goals? Maybe it's time to mix it up and explore different programs to see which one seems to fit most in your lifestyle. What do you think you can handle on a daily basis for months on end. It's better to go slow and steady than fast and quit. Learning and changing patterns is something that takes a lot of intentional work. You are likely breaking a pattern you have had for years if not most of your life and that is hard, girl. So take the time to find the right approach and give yourself grace when things may not go as well as you hope. Keep at it. Make adjustments. But always, always work on improving yourself. Because your limiting belief is wrong. You really can do anything you set your mind to. You just have to believe you can and that is often the biggest hurdle.

If you'd like to dive a little deeper into figuring out your limiting beliefs please schedule a free call with me to talk about some personal positivity training. We will work together to turn those negative limiting beliefs into powerful affirmations proving that you do what you say. It's one of the pillars of a hopefulist. And I really want to help you become the person you've always wanted to be. Just visit hopefulist.com/training.

If you like today's episode please leave me a review and hit that subscribe or follow button if you haven't already so you will be notified when a new episode is ready for you. And please spread the hopefulist word to your friends and family so they can get their dose of inspiration and positivity.

Now go make great things happen this week. And of course, be badass. I'm always here cheering you on.

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