Instant Gratification- relationships
I saw this quote somewhere one day and had a sign made up of it. It is to remind me that happiness isn't always about doing what makes you happy all the time. But you have decide what needs confronting in order to make your happiness happen for you. It's an action and it is elusive if you don't keep working for it.
Mostly it reminds me of the relationships in our lives. Is there something going on with a loved one that isn't what you hoped it would be. A problem that has crept up with a parent? Things with your spouse aren't as good as you had hoped? Feeling left out with a certain group of friends? These are those tough conversations. Talk to your parent about the problem and see if you all can come up with a solution to make things better for everyone involved. If you want your marriage or relationship to be better the only way to do it is to communicate your needs. What is missing for you? What do you need more or less of? Talk about it. They may be feeling the same way. It's the same with a group of friends. Have a conversation with the one you are closest with and tell them how you've been feeling left out. If they care about how you feel they will make sure you are included more often.
These are usually tough conversations. We often feel a lot of anxiety when a situation arises that may feel uncomfortable to discuss. But don't you feel so much better after you air things out and happy that issues were addressed? I know that has been the case with me. Although it has back fired at times and a big fight has resulted. You have to be calm when approaching such topics, try to explain how you feel in real terms without being accusatory and try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. It's not easy to remember all this. Which is why it's better to have these conversations when you are calm. But if something is bothering you it's usually better to get it out then let it build resentment in the relationship.
Don't fall for the instant gratification of lashing out and putting a relationship at risk. I think this is a real problem in a marriage. A lot of people think the instant gratification of getting away from their problems is better and easier than trying to work through them. It's not easy...but if you can take some time to explore all options there just may be a way to save your relationship if you work at it.
The bottom line is happiness isn't a case of instant gratification. It's takes time, it takes soul searching, it takes getting over your fear to have the conversations that will bring you the happiness you have been seeking. And it comes back again. The process is simple...not easy...but we know what we have to do. We just have to screw up our courage and do it. Put your big girl pants on and get ready to confront some fears and have some uneasy conversations (if needed). It's the only way to get what you truly want.
It's hump day! Figure out if there is something in your life that needs to be confronted. Then figure out a calm, rationale way to go about dealing with it. I know you can do it. Be brave, be a badass! Now, go make it your best day yet!
Listen to me discuss this topic today on my daily podcast available at Hopefulist.com, on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and TuneIn. Just search for "The Hopefulist"!
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