• The Hopefulist

It's okay to feel good about yourself

Did you ever have one of those days where everything comes together? Hair on point, nails not chipped yet, make up doing what its supposed to do, clothes looking good and fabulous shoes to boot. Or BOOTS! I mean, you've got it going on girl, and you know it. You can see it in the mirror. You can feel it in your movements. You even notice the looks from others. But are you allowed to say that you look good? Oh, Shell no. That would make you conceited, full of yourself, obnoxious. And we don't want to be called that, do we? We are always so afraid of what others are going to think of us. I say, forget all the rules that society has imposed upon us. Who made these rules anyway? They are stupid. And more importantly, they aren't serving us.

Since I have been "The Hopefulist" I have a lot of good days. I feel good all the time. And there are a lot more days than there used to be when I feel I look good to match all my good feelings. But I afraid to say it. Honestly, I feel bad saying it even to myself. I can look in the mirror and say, whoa...you have got it all going on today, Wendy. And immediately I'm like, shh...you are so conceited. And no one likes a conceited girl. But let's examine that. Why is that considered conceited? I know we shouldn't be too into ourselves and think we are better than other people but there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving yourself compliments. Especially if you don't usually do it.

I encourage you to pump yourself up, all the time. But especially when you feel good and your look follows that. We all know when we are looking good and I'm here to tell you...you are allowed to say it! In fact, when someone else compliments you, agree with them. This I usually do in a fun, teasing way so it doesn't come across as pompous but go ahead and agree. It feels really good. Here's how it usually goes. Someone: Hey, you are looking good today. Me: I know, right??? Thanks! Or: I thought so too. Thanks! I love your shoes. Compliment them back and it immediately puts the focus back on them. Here's the thing. We should be able to say what we really feel about ourselves without fear of repercussions but I feel a lot of us are a long way off from that. So this is a start. I want you to own how you look and feel. We ladies put a lot of work (and money) into our appearance and then we are shamed when we are proud of all our hard work? It's just crazy. You are take pride in your children and how they look. And you have everything to do with that. You tell them how good they look all the time. Why is that okay but it's not to pump yourself up?

I think the younger generation may be a little better about this because they post so many pictures of themselves. There is a long selection process when figuring out which of the 37 pictures should be posted. Just the fact that a picture is posted is a sign that you feel good about that shot. But if you do that too much then you get a reputation as well. We have to be so careful in everything we do as to not be judged harshly. I agree that we put too much focus on our looks. It should be about how we feel. What is inside of us. And here is the really awesome thing; when we FEEL good about ourselves we usually look good to go along with it. So maybe we can shift the focus to taking care of how we feel about ourselves and that will shine through on the outside as well. But don't be afraid of it. If you look good and you know it, own it! Tell yourself at the very least how good you look today. And when you get compliments, which you inevitably will, because when you feel good it shines through, take them. And be grateful for them.

If you had to choose to be called conceited or someone with no self esteem or confidence, which would you choose? Because ladies, honestly, we can't win. In today's judgmental society we are always this or that. So which is the lesser of two evils in your mind? Would it soften the blow if I changed the wording to over confident instead of conceited? Would that make a difference? Listen, someone is always going to have something to say about you regardless of how you conduct yourself so please do what is going to make you happiest. Always. And there is nothing wrong with knowing how good you look. And for goodness sake, when you feel that way, take plenty of pictures!

So, if your look is all pulled together today (and we all know when that happens) say it to yourself. Feel the pride. Take the compliments. Walk with a little more bounce in your step. Hold your head up high.

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