Let my hindsight be your 20/20
When it comes to removing toxicity from your life, your job may be one of the worst offenders. I realize how important it is to have a job with a steady income. But is that source of income making you miserable? So many people complain about their jobs yet continue to go there, day in and day out without even trying to find something different. Something that may not be so soul sucking.
When it comes to my last job there was so much that I loved about it but there was one thing that made my life miserable, stressed and frustrated every single day. That was the person I worked with. Although I loved everything else about my job, the music we played, talking to listeners, planning a show, my boss, the excitement of being part of a great team...there was one thing that over powered everything. It was one person and the person that I spent 99% of time with at work. This person constantly worked against me, competed with me and wanted to show me up constantly. He would set things up to make it look like one of us was the winner and ironically he often lost those battles. Which in turn made him even more angry and bitter toward me.
I had been out of the radio business for about three years before I started this job and I felt it was a gift. One I was not going to take lightly. I worked my ass off for that station and for that show. But I always had this issue hanging over me. No matter what I did, I couldn't get him on my team. And I really tried. This was my career. I wanted it to work.
When it got to the point that it was clear I wasn't going to be able to win him over I decided to just do me and soldier on the best I could. I can tell you that the thought of leaving did cross my mind. But if I did that, I felt that would be giving him the win. He would be the one to continue with the station doing the job I love while I became a receptionist somewhere. It would be rewarding his bad behavior in my opinion and I would lose out big time. But was I actually winning in the current situation? Coming home everyday complaining to my husband about him and how hard he made my life at work? Was this enhancing my life in any way or taking away from my peace and livelihood?
I still couldn't do it. I couldn't leave my dream job and let him take over when he was doing everything the wrong way. When he was acting like a child, lashing out and playing games instead of being an adult and addressing our difficulties. I couldn't just walk away no matter how much better off I would likely be. Until, management made me. Our internal battles were not a secret to management. It had been going on for two years. It got to the point where the station just let us both go. How do you think I felt about that? I had been trying with this guy against all odds to make things work and then eventually lost my job anyway because he refused to try.
When I lost that job last March I started thinking about what my next chapter would be. It took me less than a week to come up with the plan for the business I'm pursuing now. Mostly I wanted to make sure I wasn't put in a position to have to work with someone who would make me so miserable and then cost me my job anyway. I decided to work for myself. It's been hard. I'm not making any money. But I will. I'm hanging in there because I love what I do now more than anything I've ever done. There are definitely aspects of working in radio that I miss but my days are so much less stressful.
I'm not suggesting everyone start their own business but if you are going to a place every day that is sucking the life out of you...it's time to think about change. At least look for another position at another company. If it means a pay cut...my advice is to take the chance. My husband and I have had to make adjustments with the loss of my income but we have figured it out. As I'm sure you will too. You have one life. Don't spend it miserable for the sake of money. There are literally a million options out there. I know it's easy for me to say, leave your job. But don't let something like work suck all the life out of you.
These are hard lessons to learn. I still can't say I would have left if I could go back. I don't think I'm enlightened enough yet to not care that I would have handed him the show I worked so hard on. But I certainly wasn't winning when I came home miserable and stressed every day. When we can get to the point where we truly don't care what happens without us we are well on our way to living our best life. Because my life is so much better without him in it.
Put some real thought into how your job makes you feel. What are you like when you get home at the end of the day? If you love your job and it doesn't stress you out then great, you're good. But that is not the case for so many. Think about some other things you may be able to do. Other places that would benefit from your skillset. Or consider something you may be able to do completely on your own. It's scary...yes, but so exciting and fulfilling as well.
It's Monday! My favorite day of the week after Friday, Saturday and Sunday. A brand new week full of possibilities and opportunities. Now get on out there and be a badass. You know I'm cheering you on!