• The Hopefulist

Mean People Still Suck!


There is so much ugly in the world. Especially right now with the current political climate. I think we all feel so entitled to the rightness of our opinion we justify our attitude under the guise of being right. That in turn makes us feel like when we believe we are right we can act however we want because we are under the assumption we are right and everyone else is wrong. Here's the thing I think a lot of people are missing right now, as right as you think you are there are many people who believe the complete opposite fully believing their way of thinking is the correct one.


To me this causes a trickle down effect. We are so used to arguing our point so vehemently that we think it is called for at all times. The thing to remember is this, we all have different perspectives. We all had different upbringings. We all see things as it pertains to us alone. Again, going back to the current political climate we are divided almost completely equally. We are all entitled to our beliefs and opinions. What we aren't entitled to is jamming them down other people's throats. Just because people don't believe the same as you does not make them bad people. It also doesn't mean you can't continue having a relationship with them.


I love a good debate. I actually like to hear the other point of view. I also like to state my position and why I feel that way. I know there are certain people I can have a rationale conversation with over differences and there are people I can't. Sometimes conversations can get heated very quickly and it causes a lot of animosity. But most of what we are disagreeing on isn't anything personal. Especially if it's about politics.


I just recently had a conversation with a group of life long friends and I was the only person who had a different point of view. It is very hard to stand alone and try to debate your point of view when you are outnumbered. But just because I believe differently than they do doesn't mean we can't be friends. This seems to be where we are right now in this country. If you don't agree with me 100% then we can't be friends. I did have one friend that night that told me if I felt that way I should probably leave. I chose to ignore her statement but I'm not so jazzed about continuing a friendship with her. Not because she believes differently than I do but because she made my opinion about something that has nothing to do with us personal by making it seem I'm not allowed to have that belief and still be her friend.


It's the same when you get cut off on the road. I think the reason road rage is such an issue is because we take a slight so personally that it angers us to the point where we lose it. We feel we are right and the other driver feels they are right or just doesn't care. You feel wronged, violated and it can be infuriating. Honestly, this is the least personal of all transgressions. Someone may be on the way to the hospital, or just got fired from their job, or their soldier spouse just came home unexpectedly or maybe they are just an ass. It has nothing to do with you, the type of person you are or how you will go on living your life after this moment. Yet we get so angry. I was driving the back roads to the shore one day and was going about the speed limit. I may have been going a little under. At one point a man in a convertible crossed the dotted line and passed me. Once he got in front of me he gave me the finger. I, to this day, have no idea what I did to provoke that much anger. I guess I wasn't going fast enough for him. But to throw up the bird seemed a bit of an overreaction to me. The funniest part was traffic backed up not long after that then I got to sit behind him and laugh as his anger and outburst got him one whole car ahead in the long line of traffic. I guess it made him feel better. Me? I was upset to be treated in such a way. So upset that I remember this 10+ years later. Why? It's certainly not personal. He didn't know me. If he had a problem with me going 3 to 5 miles under the speed limit then the problem was his, not mine. I was having a wonderful drive with my radio on and enjoying the view until that moment. I shouldn't have let him interfere with that.


It's so easy for people to be rude lately and seems to be acceptable on some level. There was a post recently on our community page asking about where to get an old rowboat to use as a planter. Someone responded to make sure it didn't get overgrown with weeds like most people do around here. How was that helpful at all? Why someone would think it was necessary to post something like that is beyond me but I've learned its better to just ignore these people. They are usually extremely unhappy and are looking for a fight. They thrive on the drama. Don't fall for it. Keep your peace. It's more important.


As we struggle to get through these tough times right now let's stop taking everything so personally. We are all allowed our own thoughts and opinions. It doesn't have to mean we can't be friends with those who disagree with us. Unless they make it personal. That is when it becomes a problem. No, you are not entitled to call people names that don't agree with you. Nor or people entitled to do that to you. We can all get along a lot better if we realize that the difference in beliefs has always been there. We just didn't talk about them as much. And if we did, we didn't make it personal. It was merely a difference of opinion. It doesn't mean you have to hate each other.


Oh wow, have I gone on or what??? It's Tuesday! Grab a taco. The next time someone upsets you ask yourself how personal it truly is and then move on. It's the way to a peaceful existence. Now go be badass. I'm here cheering you on.

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