Mean People Suck
As we finish up “change your perception” week, I thought this scene from the “Gilmore Girls” was perfect to describe those who like to make our lives more difficult. If you’ve listened to me at all you know what a fan of this television show I am. In essence, the show is about the very difficult relationship between Lorelai and her mother Emily. Meanwhile, Lorelai has an amazing relationship with her own daughter who she had at 16 years of age. Lorelai has struggled with the constant disapproval from her mother about her life choices and the picture is from a conversation they had when Emily’s difficult mother in law was coming to visit. Emily was in a tizzy when Lorelai let her in on her little secret.
Of course, this is a television show and much easier said than done. But it can be done. I was never able to do it with my own mother but hopefully you can learn from my mistakes and do better. In the example I showed, Lorelai just decided not to let it bother her anymore. She realized her mother was never going to change and she had to have a relationship with her for the sake of her own daughter, so she literally let her mother’s disapproval roll off her back. It can be that simple…not easy, but simple.
Unfortunately, we all have people in our lives that are difficult to deal with. Whether it be a family member, friend or co-worker. The worst is when people judge you and your decisions right to your face. And it tends to happen a lot more than most would think. Something that might help is to think about why this person is so difficult. Are they jealous of you? Are they resentful of the fact that you do things exactly the way you want to? Do they have someone holding them back from the kind of life they really want to live? Trying to look at it from the other person’s point of view doesn’t excuse the behavior but it can help you understand it a little bit better. When people are rude it really is a reflection of them…not you.
When it comes to my former partner, I believe he was jealous of the connection I had with our listeners. He used to make comments that I was the star of the show. It wasn’t something that I orchestrated. I was just myself. I opened up my life to listeners and said how I really felt about things. He, however, was afraid of offending people and never talked about his personal life much for fear of judgement. I also took a lot of flack for my views. I would often get emails and texts from people disagreeing with me and even getting angry with me. It sucked when that happened but it was part of the process. If you let people get to know you some won’t like what you show them and they will let you know. He didn’t want to take the risk of being disliked but people didn’t really get to know him either. I tried to explain this to him and I think he understood but he still wasn’t willing to put himself on the line to be judged by other people. Okay, if you don’t take the risk, you don’t get the reward. It was frustrating that even though I knew he understood all this he still held it against me that I had a better connection with listeners. Hey, there is only so much you can do. I was myself and I won’t apologize for that. Some people liked me and some didn’t.
Do you have a member of your family who is always making snide comments about you and how you live your life? These are people you will have to deal with from time to time, but it may be easier to take if you just remind yourself that you are who you are and you won’t apologize for that. Even if you think you are difficult when it comes to certain things. You have to live for you and not worry about how it affects other people. Don’t be one of the mean people I’m talking about but you do you!
I imagine I can be pretty difficult to live with. I am controlling, I like to have my own way, and I’m pretty opinionated among other things. I often thought maybe I would never get married because it would be tough to find someone willing to put up with me. But guess what? I did find someone that not only is willing to put up with me, but someone who is perfectly content to let me be me. Granted, it takes a special kind of person to do that and I feel very grateful that I found him. But you can find someone who is perfect for you just like I did. When I get down on myself for all the disappointing relationships I’ve had in my life with family members or co-workers or friends….I remind myself that I have an amazing man that loves me just as I am. That can help me let others opinions of me roll off my back. He is the most important person in my life and if he is okay with me and my personality traits…I’m good.
It is cocktail Friday! We made it to the freaking weekend! Now, go and be your true badass self today. Have a fantastic weekend and be safe in whatever you do. And as always, make it your best day yet.
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