Pretty deep quote, huh? It’s so true. We have a lot of idea’s about ourselves that don’t necessarily come from us. Are you an accountant because that is what your parents wanted you to do for a living? Are you trying to find a spouse to settle down and have a family with because that is what you were brought up believing that is what you do? Is that what you TRULY want or only what is expected of you?
I was single for a long time. I didn’t get married until I was 40 and then children just never happened for us. I was well aware this was likely to be the case since I was older. I would have loved to have children but I never wanted to do it alone. My sister had decided at one point in her life that she was going to have a child even if she didn’t marry. She felt the calling to be a mom that strongly. I applaud her for making that decision. She did end up getting married and having two amazing daughters and gained two awesome stepdaughters as well. I just didn’t want to go that route. So I didn’t pursue the kid thing and now it’s too late. It’s okay….we are happy with our life the way it is (but who the hell is going to take care of us in our old age????). But what I wanted to get across is the whole time I was single I felt like such a loser. The spinster that still followed her mother around to all the family events where I was most sensitive to my singleness. Why did I feel so bad about it? Because society dictated that I should be married and planning a family by a certain age. Any woman who was still single over the age of 30 knows exactly what I’m talking about. But is it something that you really feel is lacking in your life? You….is that what YOU think..not your mom or your aunt or your co-workers. I wish I could have shaken that whole “caring what people thought” thing back then. I probably would have been much happier sooner.
I mentioned yesterday to think back to what you enjoyed as a child. This is when we are most ourselves. It’s before the seeds of judgement get planted in us and we do what we think is super fun. Are there certain books you were attracted to? Do you know what it was that you liked so much about them? Did you love to build things with blocks or make lego houses? Maybe you want to build things or create things. Give it some thought.
But the most important thing that will lead you to your passion is mindfulness. It’s not only great for finding your passion but for enjoying your life overall. I’ve been hearing about mindful eating all my life. I have read just about every diet book there is out there and they all said…be mindful of the food you put in your mouth. It’s true but so hard to do for some reason. When you go to your favorite restaurant and order your favorite dish are really enjoying the meal? I know the first couple of bites you are like….OMG, this is heaven. But do you pay attention to the rest of the bites? Savor every one. Focus on that meal and the delicious food you are indulging in. We love the first couple of bites but then take the rest for granted. Savor each and every morsel.
It’s really the same with everything in your life. How often do you really taste your coffee in the morning? Don’t you really just kind of swig it down because that is your habit. Take the time to really taste it this morning. Especially when it is at that perfect temperature. Hold the mug and let it warm your hands. Experience the cup of coffee. It makes the process so much more enjoyable.
What is the part of the day you look forward to most? Is there an aspect of your job that you enjoy more than your other duties? Is there a way you can find a position that will allow you to do more of that and less of the parts you don’t like? Be mindful of the activities you enjoy during the day. We tend to focus on what we don’t like but really pay attention to what you do like…or even what you “don’t mind”. This will lead you to figuring out what you love to do.
Is lunch the favorite part of your day? Maybe you want to go out to eat more often to experiment with different dishes. Is it cooking when you get home? Is there a way you can do more cooking? Baking? Bake up a storm and pass out your treats to family, friends, co-workers and neighbors. I bet you will have a lot of new best friends. There is always a way to do more of what you love once you figure out what it is. Be mindful of what lights you up. Just pay attention to what you enjoy throughout the day instead of what you don’t. Stop taking your life for granted and living in a way that has you just getting through the day. Are we just trying to get safely to our deaths? Life is intended to be enjoyed…every single day of it. I know everyone has bad days but once you find your passion and do more of it…you will enjoy more and more days of your life. Stop waiting for the weekends. There are only two days in a weekend. I want you to enjoy all 7 days of the week in your life!
Hope you have a wonderful “I wish it were cocktail Friday” Thursday! Talk to you tomorrow….now go make it your best day yet!