Stop the Blame Game!
It's time for some harsh truth. I say this out of love so please listen closely. The circumstances of your life are because of the choices you have made. It is no one else's fault for where you are right now. You always have a choice. No, it's not always easy. In fact, its usually very difficult to make decisions that will improve your life but that is what is necessary for living the life of your dreams. Your life will never improve if you continue to blame others for the life circumstances you are living currently.
Some of us are dealt a better hand than others. That's completely true. Some people have a lot of odds against them. That's also true. But we all have the choice of how we handle our problems and that is what sets the tone for your life. You can sit around and play the victim (even if you are one) or you can shake it off the best you can and move forward making the best choices for you and your life.
Your life will never improve until you get off the excuse caboose! It's time to take responsibility and control of your life. Listen, bad stuff happens to all of us. ALL OF US! I'm serious. No one gets through life unscathed. We all have a share of bad situations and being treated unfairly. It's what you do next that determines how good or bad your life turns out.
I have a friend who has been through a divorce in the last few years. He is extremely bitter about how his 20-year marriage turned out. He talks about how he wanted to grow old with this person and now he has to start over again at the age of 50. Yes, it sucks. It totally sucks. But the worst part of this situation is it feels like he wants to stay in the bitterness. He refuses to see the actual truth of the situation. He refuses to remember how life with his wife was really like. How frustrating it was for him having to deal with her and her issues. And the absolute truth is she begged him to stay in the marriage. He refused because she wouldn't agree to get help with certain things. So the real truth is he could still be married to her. But he doesn't think of it that way. He just plays the victim. I love him but that is the truth. And it makes me so sad because he is wasting so much of his life on being bitter and staying stuck in a cycle of self pity. There comes a time when you just have to move on. If not, then you will stay in the same place you are right now. Because if you can't find any happiness in your current situation it's likely you won't find happiness in a different situation.
I had someone in my life who loved to play the victim. I mean reveled in it. She seemed to love having people feel sorry for her. I really never understood that. I don't want people going around saying; "Poor Wendy. I feel so bad for her." Nope, that is not something I want people saying about me. But this person seemed to love it. I guess it was a way of getting attention. And the truth is she did have some pretty bad circumstances in her life. But once she got into better circumstances she couldn't let go of the negativity of the old life. She wallowed in it and played the victim. She loved to rehash how unfair things were for her. In fact, she was the ultimate example to me of someone who only looked at what she lacked in her life. When I looked at her life I thought she has a pretty good life. She had everything she needed and more. She had a loving husband, lots of friends and family members close to spend time with. But nothing could compete with those years that she went through trials and tribulations. They ruled her life. And made her miserable. Don't be her. Don't be a victim. Start owning your decisions and making ones that will bring you the life of your dreams.
If it weren't for the fact that I was fired unjustly nearly three years ago I likely wouldn't be doing what I'm doing now. Writing this blog, recording this podcast, working with people as a personal positivity trainer. I love my life so much now and I am grateful for being here. I still feel bitterness at times at my former employer for the circumstances surrounding my dismissal but that will never serve me. It's been long enough and I'm way better now than I was then. It's time to let it go. I can even go as far to say I'm better off having had it happen.
Because once it did happen I made some decisions that changed my life forever. I couldn't change the fact that I was let go but I could control what would come next for me. One thing I determined right away was that I didn't want to be in a position to be let go from a job ever again for reasons that had nothing to do with me or my work. That meant I had to work for myself. I had already been writing a blog and decided to move forward with starting a podcast. And now a couple of years later I am actually making money. I have a long way to go but I'm hanging in there. I'm persistent and know deep in my soul this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And those messages I get from you all is what really keeps me going. Every time I hear from one of you about how much you love 'The Hopefulist' it makes it all worth while.
I realize that some people have much harder situations to deal with. Some people are dealt a really crappy hand. But you still have to play to win. Win at the game of your life. You have just this one so make sure you do all you can to come to the end having done everything you wanted to. Don't be on your death bed wishing you had the courage to make different decisions. Don't look back and realize you wasted years on bitterness and being a victim when you could have been out living your best life.
You know deep down if you are playing the best cards or saving them for some other time. Don't wait for the perfect circumstances to do what you really want to do. Because the fact is there is never going to be a perfect time. You have to make it happen. No matter how hard it seems. When I was fired it was the worst thing that had ever happened in my work career. But within three years I have a business that I love. And I'm positive that I wouldn't be doing this if I hadn't been fired.
So don't play a victim. It's not cool. Take some time to really figure out where you want to be. And then start making decisions to make that happen. Because it's always up to you. You can do it too. I have faith in you.
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Now go make this week count. And be badass. You know I'm here cheering you on.