The Company you Keep
Have I ever mentioned how much I love my neighbors? They are the best people in the world and I am truly grateful we are able to live among such wonderful souls. One of my neighbors was mentioning to me at the end of last summer that they go to a local place to see a guy perform Doo-Wop music. Doo-Wop music? I LOVE Doo-Wop music! Okay, I’m in. I ended up meeting him there where he was already seated with a couple friend of his. So, it was the four of us as his wife was working and would meet up later. We ordered some food and waited for the show to start. Meanwhile, I had never met the couple at my table before and they were a little bit older. I will say somewhere in the 60’s. Man..they did nothing but complain the whole time about everything. They complained about the service we were getting that day. They complained about service they had gotten at a restaurant over the weekend. They literally complained about everything. I was exhausted when I got home just from listening to them. The music was awesome though! I asked my husband when I got home if older people just complain more or if he thought they were just the complaining type. I’m not sure the answer.
But I literally felt drained when I got home that night from having to listen to all that complaining. Frankly, it kind of annoyed me. I felt like asking at one point if there was anything they found enjoyable. Being around people like this is not fun. Now only does it suck listening to it but it brings you down as well. I was so happy that night to see some good, old Doo-Wop music and they practically ruined the whole experience for me.
Do you have friends and family members that are like this? Don’t get me wrong…everyone does a little complaining occasionally. Sometimes you just need to vent. But it when it gets to the point that all a person does is complain non-stop it may be time to limit your time with said person.
My mother was extremely pessimistic. She played the victim right up to her end. I had a lot of the same personality traits as my mother but I wanted to change. I wanted to be a happier person. She seemed content to be unhappy and complaining all the time. As I started down my path to a better life watching Oprah and reading self-help and inspirational books I told her it was really hard for me to be around so much negativity. I told her that when she was negative it was like quicksand to me pulling me down with her and I was trying so hard to stay on top. It didn’t make much difference, but I tried. So, I started to limit my interactions with her. Then of course I was accused of being a bad daughter so I couldn’t win in either scenario. But ultimately, I chose ME. I chose to focus on my happiness and outlook on life more than anything. And it definitely put a strain on my relationship with my mother. But it is what it is, and things unfolded as they did. I probably wouldn’t change anything at this point.
When someone is literally draining the life out of you it is time to question the relationship. Is this someone you should cut out of your life altogether? If you don’t want to do that then maybe you just need to limit your time with them. And prepare yourself when you do spend time with them. Give yourself a pep talk before the gathering that you won’t let this person bring you down. That you will just let them do their usual complaining and not say anything unless asked. And then give your positive point of view although they probably won’t want to hear it. Sadly, some people are happiest when they are complaining. The only thing you can do in these situations is to keep your distance. Remind yourself that this is not how you want to live your life and be grateful you have a better outlook and a more optimistic view of life.
Now, go out there and find a circle you can really count on! There are people everywhere looking for meaningful connections. Go find you some!
It’s hump day! And tomorrow is a holiday…woo-hoo! I will be taking the day off tomorrow but your daily dose of inspiration and positivity is back on Friday! Now, go make it your best day yet!
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