• The Hopefulist

The difference between an optimist and pessimist


When it comes to toxic behaviors one of the worst is only focusing on what you don't have. In fact, I think it's the main difference between an optimist and a pessimist. An optimist realizes how much they already have and are grateful for it while a pessimist never acknowledges what they have and only focuses on what others have and they don't.


You know people who are like this. Always feeling sorry for themselves because they don't have what others have and convincing themselves they are getting the short end of the stick. Often people who have this view of the world never acknowledge what goes into getting all the things they have. Like, hard work, saving their money, not spending frivolously and their priorities. People who feel like they don't have enough rarely question what the difference is between those who have what they want and themselves. We get what we work for...that is still true. And looking at others with jealousy will never help you get what you want.


When you can focus on what you have instead of what you don't, life will truly be beautiful. Remind yourself to take joy in the little things...like the fact that my gardenia plant is going through a second blooming. I bought this at the beginning of the summer and after the initial blooms died off there was no activity. I looked closely the other day and there are buds all over the plant and some are starting to bloom. I also got a new orchid this year. It came with three stems...it's so pretty. I noticed the other day that it's still growing new blossoms! I hope that means it likes the spot I picked out for it.


When you focus on what you have you don't have as much time to wallow in what you lack. It changes your focus and life starts to get better. Just by changing your perception. Life is all in the way we look at it. We often interpret life, not as it is, but how we perceive it to be. For example, I'm going to steal something I heard from Rachel Hollis...where she got it from I don't know. But take a fire as an example. When there is a house on fire and you are a firefighter you see that fire as a job. If you are an arsonist, you see that fire as an exciting event. If it's your house that is on fire you feel devastation. Do you see what I'm getting at? A house on fire is just that but there are so many meanings depending on your point of view.


Don't misunderstand what I'm saying to extend to goal setting. We can often get to our goals faster if we write them down in specific detail and then describe how our life will be once we achieve those goals. That is not the same as looking at others with jealousy and feeling sorry for yourself. This is an exercise that has its place and should be used as an incentive to your dreams and goals. You can do this while still being appreciative of what you already have.


As a former pessimist, I think this is the biggest obstacle to overcome. And once you do, you will be well on your way to a much better, happier life. Filled with all the things you love!


It's #cocktailfriday y'all! We made it to the freaking weekend! I hope you have a fantastic time in whatever you do and make sure to stay safe. Go out there and be a badass! You know I'm cheering you on!

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