• The Hopefulist

The loss of people


As you move through a new path and work to make life better, you may lose some people close to you. Why? Because people are uncomfortable with change. Especially if your change affects them. But even sometimes when it doesn't affect them. For example, when you decide to eat healthier and your friends are used to joining them for a night on the town, followed by a late night stop at the diner...they won't like it when you stop. They won't even like it if you just cut out the diner and go home early. People will talk trash about you. Most people will anyway. But if they are truly your friend...the right kind of friend...they will support you, cheer you on and find ways to spend time with you on your new terms.


I have people in my life that make fun of me for what I'm going for business right now. I know this just because I know how some of my friends are. I also know this because some people are (what I believe) mocking me right to my face. I often hear; "okay, hopefulist" from certain people. And what's worse, the people that tell me I'm not being very hopefulist like. Okay, I'm freaking human. I'm not going to be hopeful and positive 24 hours a day. Just because I focus on the good doesn't mean I don't feel or see any negativity. Do people really think that I'm happy 24/7? Because, guess what? I'm not! I'm a regular human being just like everyone else. I have my "moments" as well. I do focus on the positive though and realize that life is so much better when you look for happiness than if you just wait for it to come to you.


But the sad news is that some people won't understand your new path. They may make fun of you. They may not try to adjust to see you in situations that are different from how they are now. In fact, there will be people that truly have your best interests at heart but still try to talk you out of a new life. They will warn you of all the dangers of leaving your current job. They will tell you that you need to be more realistic about your goals or the way you live your life. They will do this under the veil of being concerned about you. But here is something to consider, are they an expert in the area of advice they are giving you? Are they ecstatically happy at work and make lots and lots of loot? If not, why would you listen to them? If someone is telling you this will affect your children because you won't be there for them as much, do they have super well-adjusted kids that are perfect? Likely, no. We all make our own decisions based on what we feel we need in our life. Don't look for relationship advice from someone that has been divorced four times. That would be silly, wouldn't it? It's the same here. You get what I'm saying.


When it comes to you family, sometimes they have to pick up some extra slack when someone is pursuing a dream. If your spouse came to you and said they wanted to go back to school so they could pursue a dream in what they believe is their calling...would you try to tell them it isn't really their calling? I doubt it. So many people judge what is worthy of someone else's time and energy. Listen to this....it isn't about them. It's about you. If you have a spouse that is giving you a hard time over making positive changes in your life...explain it to them like I just did. Ask them if they want you to deny a part of yourself that you believe strongly in? I sure hope they answer no.


I'm not going to lie. There will be people you lose along the way. Not everyone is as enlightened as you are. And they don't want to be. That is why they make fun of you. Because they are too scared, cynical or lazy to forge their own true path. And they will likely be a lot less happy than you too. Even if they seem really happy, you never know what people are thinking when they go to bed every night. Focus on you and the right people will still be by your side. And you will likely pick up some new people as well. People that will encourage you and make you feel proud for your accomplishments. I've mentioned it before and I will again, those who forge a similar path before you, will never make fun of you for trying.


That's why they have that saying some people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. I've mentioned how many friends I have lost along the way and you may have as well. It's not as uncommon as you think. And if you weren't told you did something wrong or caused a friendship to end, then go on the assumption that you didn't. Guessing at what the problem may have been will never help. Because you will never get confirmation and your mind will go in a million different directions. Find closure any way you can and move on. This is your life! You have to live it for you and do what is best for you.



It's "I wish it were cocktail Friday" Thursday. Aww, poor Thursday. Nobody ever wants you....he's like the bad friend! Go kick some booty today. I'm cheering you on. And make today your best day yet!




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