• The Hopefulist

The pain we fear that stops change.


When it comes to change we all think of it as a bad word. I personally never think about good change. I only consider how hard it will be to adjust to any change. But there are some pain points that cause us the most fear that stop us from doing what we actually want to do.


As Brendon Burchard points out in one of his many articles there are three types of pain we are afraid of when it comes to making changes in our lives. The first one is loss pain.

We fear what we may lose when we decide to do things differently. If you are looking to get healthy you fear the loss of eating your favorite foods. You fear the complexity of shopping and prepping your food. You fear the time it will take to get those workouts in rather than sitting in front of the tv to unwind every night.


When you want to quit smoking you fear losing that break that you look forward to throughout the day. You may worry that you will put on weight so that is a loss of how you look now. If you'd like to make a jump to your own business you fear losing a steady paycheck and your 401K. Also having structure and that someone that helps you along the way.


And we are right to be afraid of those things. Those are things will lose. But where we go wrong is we focus on the loss instead of what we gain. You may give up eating your favorite foods as often as you want but you will gain a new sense of self worth. You will be more healthy, fit better in your clothes, have more energy, feel better about yourself because of the accomplishments you are achieving. If you quit smoking you will lose that break you are used to but you will be gaining a much more healthy lifestyle that will keep you alive and well much longer. If you give up your job to pursue your own dream business you may have a few years of volatility but you may end up earning much more than you ever would have when you were working a 9-5. You will lose your 401K but have much more money to work out a retirement plan. And you may lose your mentor at work but you will find more as you work for your business.


The second pain we feel is process pain. That's the actual process of how hard something new will be. The cutting out of the favorite foods, having to learn how to cook more healthy meals, fitting in that workout. It's a lot! And make no mistake, it is hard. The person who quits smoking is not thinking about the freedom and how it will be easier to get up the stairs. They worry about going through withdraw and all the frustration that can cause.


Part of the mastery of life is learning to see life as a game. Learning to see change as something we can joyously enter and master in our lives. Change may be challenging but that's good because it develops us. Challenge will help us reach our highest selves. Challenge will help us live a fully charged life with the process being engaging, fun, exciting and new. It can bring variety and spice into our lives so we can look forward to change.


The third type of pain is outcome pain. What is I go through all this and it isn't better than before? What if I leave my job to start a business and don't make more money? But if we're stuck thinking that way we never change. Part of maturity and the mastery of life is instead of focusing on outcomes that are negative we start dreaming about, visualizing and giving our attention and focus into things that will be powerful, satisfying, happy and joyous on the other side of the fence.


It's not about instant gratification which is hard for us especially in this day and age. But we need to focus on the big picture. The future as we want it to be. And know that anything worth doing is worth the time it will take. Because you can't rush something that you want to last forever.


So when you are ready to make these changes right down the outcome you are seeking. Then read it every single day. Several times a day if you can. That will keep your focus on the amazing future you have waiting for you when you do what you say you will do.


Once you understand these pain points and how to handle them things should be a little bit easier. You want to look at how you want your life to look exactly and create that life. What do you have to do to make that possible? Now, start. A little at time. Go slow and steady. You can do it. You've got this. I believe in you.


If you want to spend a little time with someone helping you thrash out what pain points you are more concerned with and help with overcoming those obstacles schedule a free call with me so we can talk about how we can work together to make that happen. I'd love to see you live the life of your dreams.


If you like this episode please leave me a review. If you haven't subscribed or followed please do so that you will know whenever a new episode is ready for you. And please tell your friends and family about 'The Hopefulist'. Now go out there and be badass. I'm always here cheering you on.

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