• The Hopefulist

The passive aggressive poster

As we wrap up our discussion on the toxicity of social media I wanted to talk about the person who lurks in the background and pounces in a way that you aren't really sure what they are saying. You've likely had this person pop up on one your posts from time to time. It seems like an innocent comment, yet at the same time you get this nagging feeling that there is more to it. And there likely is.

I remember posting a picture one time on my feed of people roller blading down the main artery onto LBI on the Friday of July 4th weekend. I put a comment like, traffic isn't bad enough but now we have to weave around these guys. A "friend" of mine had tagged someone else in my post and said, remember when you did this for charity? She didn't talk directly to me in any way. However, I took it as her saying it could be for charity and maybe give them a break. I would have rather her been straight forward and just say, "hey, it could be a charity run." But she did it in a way that made me feel selfish and belittled. I'm no longer friends with this person and this is just one example of what I have been able to to rid my life of since that friendship ended.

Have you ever had something like that happen to you? A comment from someone that is a subtle dig? Maybe you've posted a picture of yourself and someone is making negative comments about things in the background. Or focusing on something negative that is not the point of the picture or post. These are the passive aggressive Petes. Yes, I'm going to start giving these descriptions male names instead of female! And they are so good at hitting you hard without you even realizing what happened. You know you were dissed in some way but you aren't sure how.

These people are not your friends. My advice is to rid them from your feed altogether. Either hide them from your feed or defriend them altogether. If this is someone you consider to be a friend, then ask them what the heck they were talking about and what did they mean? Tell them you felt like they were judging you in some way and if they don't appear sorry, then it was intentional and you may want to rethink such a friend.

Again, we want our social media feed to work FOR us, not against us. This is something we have absolute control over. You can hide certain people from seeing your feed even you are uncomfortable with banning them altogether. But remember that you are in charge here and you don't owe anyone explanations. You do what is good for you and if someone is making you feel bad for any reason, remove them. It's that simple. I don't know about you but I would spend hours trying to decipher exactly what a certain comment meant and why they were even saying it that way. LIFE IS TOO SHORT! Stop nonsense such as this. Just remove the source and get back to enjoying social media and post what you want without fear of backlash. (Depending on what you post, of course)

There is so much we don't have control over in our lives. We have complete and total control over who we let onto our social media feeds. Did you know you can even hide particular posts from specific people? You have all the control. Do not put yourself in a position to let these passive aggressive Petes bring you down. Fill your feed with positivity and follow people who will inspire you.

It's #cocktailfriday y'all! What do you have planned for the weekend? I hope it's fantastic and be safe in whatever you do. Go out and be the badass I know you are! I'm cheering you on!

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