You’ve been hurt. It’s the worst. I’ve often said there is nothing so brutal as nursing a broken heart. Relationships sometimes end without our wanting them to and it can be a hard thing to get over. It will take time. You need to wallow, be sad, mad, shake your finger at the injustice of it all. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. And we all know good things happen to bad people. I’ll never figure out the justice in this world but you only have two choices. Stay locked in your misery stuck in how unfair you’ve been treated or move on to greener pastures. Is an unhappy life what you deserve after already being treated so unfairly? No, of course not.
Life can be extremely unfair. I have often looked at friends of mine who are in a happy marriage (I think), financially secure and seem to be doing great. Even people I perceived as breaking all the rules. I’ve always been a rule follower and maybe that is why I’ve gotten stuck so many times, but here is what I mean. I finished high school and went on to college. I finished college and decided on a career in music which turned into a career in radio. I haven’t made a lot of money in radio especially since I have bounced around a lot. But money wasn’t my motivation so that’s okay. I have lost a lot of jobs over the years due to circumstances outside my control. It happens to everyone in my business except for a very few. It’s the field I chose. I knew this going in and decided to do it anyway. I was also single for a very long time. I dated a lot of losers and figured I just had bad luck with men. So, when I lost a job or a boyfriend, do you think I should have just given up? Gotten a job at the nearest fast food joint and been content to live my life on my own. That’s not what I wanted obviously so I kept trying. Trying to find another job in radio. Trying to find that perfect guy. I got one of them at least! But it was really hard watching all my friends settle into great relationships and be financially secure when some of them didn’t even finish high school. But that’s how life rolls. And as bad as you think your situation is it can always be worse.
What if instead of going through a divorce your spouse was hit by a car and killed? Or if you lost a child. I’m not trying to be morbid but I’m trying to point out that horrific things happen sometimes and we need to adjust to them. Would you tell a 38-year-old woman who lost her husband of 15 years to an accident to give up because you wouldn’t want them to have to face a similar situation? I doubt it. You would tell them to take the time to grieve and then get back out there. There is nothing I can tell you or anyone can tell you that makes what happened to you okay. And I know it can be scary to trust again. You have to give yourself the proper amount of time and then start to move on or you will be stuck for the rest of your life. Then you are letting your spouse win. They get to move on and you don’t. Is that how you want to be viewed? As the person whose life was ruined because one person decided not to be with them anymore? I certainly hope not!
It can be scary to try to get out there again and a horrific fear of another situation turning out badly for you. But here’s the thing…you have to if you want to get the most out of this life. You know the saying love like you’ve never been hurt. It’s hard to do but you have more knowledge behind you now. You know what to look for and will spot a situation that may not work out in your favor. You also know what it is you wish you did differently and now you can.
Hold your breath and dive in. It’s the only way to live! I know you can do it.
It’s taco Tuesday! Now, go make it your best day yet!
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