• The Hopefulist

Turning negative thoughts into positive.

Do you feel like your life sucks? Do you think there is nothing you can do about it? It's not true! You can just by changing your thoughts!

I have a friend who led a pretty great life up until a certain point. She said she had a happy childhood, met her husband while she was still in school, got married and had kids. Then one day her husband told her he was leaving and her world fell apart. When I started on my quest to help people live happier lives by changing their thoughts she said she refuses to believe her life circumstances are her fault because of her thoughts. She seemed to take it as blame for where she is in her life. But that's not it. Not at all! We all have crappy stuff happen to us. Most of it is extremely unfair and we don't deserve it. What we do next is what determines how I life will be.

If you think your life sucks, guess what? It will. If you think you can overcome anything, you will. I feel like I've been knocked down so many times it's a wonder I can get up at all. And I spent most of my life feeling sorry for myself and asking why these things always happen to me. I got to a point where I started thinking about my life situation differently. When something shitty happened I started recognizing any good there was in the situation. When I got unfairly fired from my job two years ago at least I didn't have to put up with my impossible partner anymore. He no longer had any power over how my day went. I didn't have to deal with someone who was committed to working against me instead of with me. Did it take the sting out of what happened? Not really but I was focusing on what good came out of it.

Maybe when my friends husband left, after a period of mourning the loss of her marriage, she could have focused on creating a new exciting chapter in her life. Instead she seemed to just focus on all she lost. Which I totally get. But that doesn't help you. What does help you is taking what you've got and making the best of it. You have to get over a loss before you can move on from it so it's important to give yourself time to grieve but not too much time that you get bogged down in it. Look at it this way. What your husband did to you sucked, was unfair and you did not deserve it. But staying stuck in those thoughts gives him the power to continue affecting your life every day in a negative way while he's gone on to live happily without a second thought about your life. Don't give him that power! He's already dropped a bomb on your life. Don't let him keep shooting firecrackers at you. Because here's the thing, he doesn't even mean to continue affecting your life in this way. He's not even thinking about you. You are the one who continues to let him affect your life by continuing to think about all you have lost instead of what you have left.

Yes, I know this is all easier said than done but like I always say, everything is easier said than done. You have to do it for yourself and for your happiness. Don't give anyone or anything the power to affect your whole life. There are so many aspects of your life you sometimes to need to switch your focus in order to thrive. When something awful happens at home focus on your friends, extended family, work, hobbies or activities. When something awful happens at work, focus on family and home life. The great thing about life is the many aspects of it. You aren't happy or unhappy because of just one thing. It's a combination of many things. When one thing blows up switch your focus until that situation gets resolved or you feel you can move on from it.

This is where positivity comes in. You can think your life sucks and will never be good again or you can focus on something that is going well in your life. Our minds tend to always go to the negative and want to focus on that. But you can change your thoughts. Oh, yes you can. When you start to go doom and gloom switch to bright and cheery. This is a great time of year to find a positive focus. Just enjoy the blossoming trees and flowers on your way to work every day. Find some time to enjoy the warmer temperatures with lunch outside. Go for a walk after dinner. Take the dog! Focus on your health. Focus on your friends. Pick up a new hobby like pickleball! There is so much good in this world if you choose to see it. That's been the most amazing part of my own journey. The goodness has always been there. I just never noticed it before because I was so bogged down in my own misery. So I know if I can break out of that cycle anyone can.

Changing your thoughts isn't easy but the process is simple. When negative thoughts come into your mind, change them. Stop thinking them and focus on something good in your life. There is always some good. You just don't always see it. When you wake up in the morning feel grateful for what you have and decide to think positively on this day. Find something to compliment when looking in the mirror instead of focusing on your flaws. Gratitude is the key. The more you are thankful for the more to be thankful about will start appearing in your life. I know this to be true!

If you don't use a gratitude journal yet, start! 3-5 things daily that you are thankful for from the past 24 hours. No repeats for a week. If you put your house on Monday you can't say that again until next Monday. The point is to find more and more to be grateful for so repeating the same thing everyday won't really do the trick.

Another thing that really made a difference for me was to stop taking so many things for granted. I've always thought my life sucked so much until I compared it to people born in a third world country. Those who don't have effective shelter or enough to eat. It seems pretty silly for me to be so miserable when I have a house, a fridge full of food, heat, AC, a car, a pet and so many other things that many people don't have. We all tend to take the things in our life for granted, it's human nature. That's why it's so helpful to have gratitude and remind ourselves how lucky we have it. Sure, the neighbor has a much better car than we do but there are many people who don't have a car at all. This kind of thinking will change your life. I guarantee it!

Are you feeling more positive? Do you know where you need to focus in your life right now? Focus on the good! Not the bad. There will always be bad but there will always be good too. The time for your happiness is now. I'm offering coaching now to help you focus on ways to improve your life right now! We will come up with a plan together on how to improve your life and ways you can find more joy. Please schedule a free call to see what I can do for you. I love helping people live happy, more fulfilling lives! Just send me a message through social media or to thehopefulist1@gmail.com.

If you liked this episode please leave me a review or hit the subscribe button. And share with your friends. The more people we make happy the better the world will be! Hope you have a fantastic week. Go out there and make good things happen. And of course, be Badass. I'm always here, cheering you on!

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