• The Hopefulist

We all just want to be understood


I remember watching Ellen a few years back on one of her birthdays. She had Portia, her wife, on and she gave her a gift of creating a refuge for elephants. It brought her to tears and I'll never forget what she said. "It's amazing to be loved, but to be understood is so profound." She was touched because her wife knew her so well, all her hopes, dreams, desires and did exactly what she would have wanted most in the world. We'd like to think our spouses are always that person in our lives but it's not the case in many circumstances. But do you have someone that really understands you?


Don't you just love it when your pet senses that you are upset about something and comes over to attempt to console you? It's so awesome that they know us so well, they know when something is wrong and want to help. Just one of the many things we love about our fur babies. Do you have people in your life that know you that well? It doesn't have to be just when you are upset. But to be understood on any level is so affirming. I think one of the reasons it makes us feel so good is that these people really understood who we are and love us for it. Is there anything more life affirming than that?


I've been noticing lately how many people in my life seem to really know me. It's not really that hard with me. I'm very outgoing and open about my life. I'm no big puzzle. I'm often loud, boisterous, opinionated and usually say what I think about most situations. So it may be a little easier to figure me out. You quiet ones though...you're a little tougher to crack! But I hope everyone has someone in their life who knows them inside and out. And if you do, take notice of it and appreciate it.


Just recently I've noticed how well people seem to know me and it's really refreshing. Don't you just love when you put a picture up on social media and someone remarks...oh, that outfit, hat, jewelry, makeup, etc. is so you? That happened recently when I put up a post with me wearing my disco pants to the gym. They are bright, shiny and really sparkly. Maybe you saw the picture. One of my friends had commented, they are so you! I love that! They really are so me!


Over the holidays, I had gotten together with some of my girls in the hood. I had made them all read; "You are a Badass" by Jen Sincero when it was my turn to pick for book club. A group of them went to Cape May on a day trip and they found a "you are a bad ass button" much like an easy button. It says a number of different phrases and is really the coolest thing ever. I keep it on my kitchen counter and hit it numerous times a day as I walk past it. The coolest part about the whole thing is though, they saw that button, thought of me and knew I would love it. They were right. It's so nice to have people in your life who know you, accept you and reward you with gifts for loving what you love! You get what I'm saying, right?


I had a friend of mine visit for a few days late last year. She was recovering from some surgery and I thought it would be fun to hang. When she came, she brought me a gift bag filled with my favorite goodies. It has a ton of Bath and Body Works products which she knows I love because she is the one who got me hooked on them. It was around the holidays and I had been harping on drinking out of a favorite Christmas mug everyday as a way to enjoy the holidays more. Yet, I didn't have one of my own. She brought me a Christmas mug and it is awesome! She also threw in a couple of Philadelphia Eagles themed gifts. If you know me at all, you know my love for my birds.


Last summer, my sister went to Hawaii with her family. I'm still getting over my jealousy but that's not the point of this story. A few weeks after she returned I got a package in the mail. It was a magnet, clip for the fridge (or wherever) in the shape of a flip flop and all blinged out. Flip flops, me....blinged out...oh, so me! It was so nice that she saw something she knew I would love, picked it up and then sent it to me when she got home. It's little things like this that mean the most.


My husband and I went to brunch yesterday. It was a gorgeous day and we just wanted to get out and enjoy it. I was perusing the menu and I had narrowed it down to a crab cake sandwich or a burger. I asked the server which of the two she recommended and she said burger without hesitation. Okay, sold! I got my burger and I didn't realize it had all this other stuff on it. I am a very plain Jane burger kind of girl. Give me beef and give me cheese, I'm good. But this had some sort of short rib meat mixture on top of the burger and then melted cheese and this aioli sauce drenched all over it. Aside from it not really being what I thought it was, it was the messiest sandwich I've had in a long time! I ate about half of it and gave the rest to my hubby. I told him to remind me next time we were there to order just a regular, plain cheeseburger. He said he was surprised I was getting the fancy burger. I told him I didn't realize how different it was. I guess I didn't read the description in it's entirety. My husband knew it was something I wouldn't have really liked. It would have been nice of him to say so before I ordered but it's still nice when someone knows you so well.


Do you have people in your life that bring you a little something occasionally when they see something they know you will just love. I just saw something I know my sister will love. I think she will anyway. I'm going to work on getting it for her. Do you take the time to get the thing you see that reminds you of a friend or family member? Start doing it. Right now. The joy you see in the other person when they get it is a gift to yourself as well. Be the person who goes out of your way to let people know how much they mean to you. Make someone's day. And I'm pretty sure it will start happening for you in return even though that isn't really the point.


I'm going to say it again; to be understood is profound. I hope you have some profanity in your life! Ha! I hope you have people in your life who know you deep into your core and love you just the way you are! Now, go be your badass self and keep crushing it!


It's Monday, people. You know, my favorite day after Friday, Saturday and Sunday. A brand new week full of possibilities and opportunities. Go into to this week knowing full well who you are, what you contribute and keep doing you! Now, go make today, your best day yet!

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